i missed Monday 30 Oct by 15 minutes. it's 12:15 midnight now. if only i'd reached home a bit earlier and taken a bit less time to bathe...

and yeah, if you're asking why i'm being so particular about the date, it's cuz the 30th matters. it's Brian's birthday =)

we had a fabulous time at Ritz Carlton. i mean, when you have "smooth" crab meat soup as appetizer and indulge in delectable main courses of pepper prawns and crabs (yet again) and soft-shell crab and herbal ducks and sea cucumber and "devine" sushis, with the company of the nicest people there are to you, you shouldn't be able to feel any happier =) (even as the pepper crabs could be a real mess o_O)

not to mention that i like good food, and i love good company =)

Brian brightened up the night with his plastic dramaly-constructed smiles that never lasted for more than 5 seconds, and never failed to crack me and Richard up every time hahaha. i think the birthday boy never smiled so much and so beautifully before with us =) i wanna see and laugh to his photo-whoring smiles always =)

and yeah, seems like this year's favourite is shirts, hahaha. no nipple-teasing bunny Playboy piece this time though =) the shirts are hand-picked (of course) to Brian's young-and-innocent-and-colour-loving-man style :) man the boy looked so cute posing for photos with each of the shirts =)

me and Brian went to the restroom. we wanted him to try the pink piece right away hahaha. it felt good on him (i mean the shirt, not Brian's body) =) and i bet the janitor in the restroom must've thought that me and him were gay as i was waiting for him inside the toilet and the man walked past me twice and asked me a suspecting question the second time hahaha.

Richard was so sweet; he got Brian these 2 books that look good. they're the intellectual stuffs that the kind like me have yet to appreciate =) me and Felicia wanna read the books after Brian's done with them. we wanna catch up hahaha.

well maybe the only thing that was bad tonight is Felicia's dental trauma =( she's visibly hurt at times... and not-cold-not-hot water was constantly asked for. luckily we were at Ritz; the service staffs were good =)

ah we have a new friend =) actually not a new friend, but rather an old buddy who's just named and given credits tonight. please welcome Oly =) she's holding on to all the moments to remember of ours =)

moments of Brian's dramamama smiles =)

moments of the guys posing with Felicia's dangling earrings hahaha...

moments of candid shots (Richard and Brian) and pretty faces (Felicia and me)

moments of us =)

i really wanna hug them all =) good night everyone. and thank you so so much...

i think i'm good investment. S'pore brings me here and i'm here to stay. not only that, looks like i feel more for S'pore and am more confident about S'pore than many locals here. well it's nobody's fault that some people see a bleak picture. just that i'm more fortunate to get to see a bigger picture and kind of realize the dark sketches are just artistic shading of a bright vista =)

anyway, life starts to suck... just came back from an 8 hour discussion that brought us round round in many circles. we're now back at square 1. that's BGS for you.

last night's Virtuoso was good =) cuz Felicia and Ahmad won the best duet award. yay!

the punchers know real lots about cartoons, tons of it. made me feel like i had a deprived childhood hahaha... maybe i did... hmm...

and i got the HP Pavilion dv2121... after seeing how an entire floor is monopolised without any visible evidence... how company people compete dirty for commissions... and after managing to suck out a good deal =) thanks Stanley...

i have a thought. but i dont know if i should speak it here. maybe not. not now.

i realize when it gets all busy and exhausting, i need to see someone more.

for those who are bored with life... Death Note the movie...

I seriously think the lead who plays Kira is so ugly and old and uncool, ain't any bit like the young good looking and charming Kira in the manga. he's a reason why the movie loses about half of its appeal. okay i'm being over critical here but yeah, you get the drift =)

anyway, average looking cast aside, Death Note is pretty ... boring hahaha. yeah there're adaptations different from the comic drawings that make it kind of a twist at times. but i found the show a little bit disappointing =( i suppose it's cuz i got to read the manga, which is so thrilling and packed with intense emotions and climatic intervals... the 2-hour movie couldn't depict the same sense... that's when the adaptations come in... hmm...

but yeah, i'm still eager to catch the 2nd half of Death Note in Dec =) hope i'd be in S'pore when it's released =) hahaha i think i spend a lot of money on average shows... the kind that make you feel good understanding the bits without having to think too much after lunch =)

i love Death Note the manga =)

by the way, Death Note has this line that kind of makes me think... for those who are bored with life... and i was watching Best of the Best 3 the other day, this show about racism in newly independent America, in which a young guy says "hatred has given me something to live for" when his mom asks him what he's doing with that hate-inducing gang that goes around batter up every black in the place...

i hope i would never have a good reason to speak those lines myself...

oh and i think i know a reason why the new Cathay should be so close to the Cathay Cineleisure... it's in case you take a cab to one of them and the taxi driver takes you to the other, you wouldn't have to waste so much money making the trip back... like what happened to me today o_O okay that's a no brainer opinion =)

anyway... I got to know where to shop for nice and affordable shirts, the kind that your daddies and uncles would love, on Wed. and I got to know where i should get nice pretty and age-sensitive items for mommies and aunties today =)

i reached home early... too tired to go join the gang at Raffles City... i wanna sleep now... good night =)

thursday... it's been a busy day... and i'm both :) and :( at the same time...

11:45 ~ desperately pacing at the bus stop in the middle of nowhere waiting for bus 139. it was a good half hour before the single decker came and saved my day, just when i thought the service might've stopped operating for the day. i mean, when each of the other hundred buses at the stop pulled in for like 10 times and my bus was still "on the way", it could feel really hopeless =)

11:11 ~ we left Starbucks... it seems to have become our favourite place to hang out after dinner. two of us will be flying to Japan during the december break. Fel'll be in S'pore and me going home for a while (i hope so). we planned to go Bali for the holidays, but the tour package turned out to be really expensive so yeah.

9:15 ~ the nice restaurant Brian wanted us to dine at closed at 10. so we headed to the food court. our first time gathering at Novena Square together, and Richard's first =) the food ain't cool, but the company mattered more. we had lots of jokes... i wonder what i would do with half of my time if these people were not there =)

8:15 ~ mission accomplished at Mt Sinai Crescent =) i wanna get a good house to take care of my good home some day. and i will =) oh yeah, thanks lots Hianliang :)

7:15 ~ walking like running to Plaza Singapura...

7:00 ~ BGS class ended 15 minutes late. of all days the prof must have it that way today, when i was rushing through everything. okay i think the Wharton guy should shoulder part of the blame too, cuz he was speaking to us on Trust and Diversity. it totally captivated me. i mean the topic, not the Wharton fellow. just that me and Li Zhen didn't feel that he did a good job.

Background information: Havard's Robert Putnam research shows that "higher levels of ethnic diversity in a community lead to lower levels of trust between its members". yeah, trust's become an important point of debate today, everyone who's aware of Islamic extremism knows that. but i doubt that anyone actually asks themselves about the link between diversity and distrust. i didn't, until today. it's a reason why i feel that we all conform to whatever that happens to, or rather is imposed upon, us...

why must we go to school? to get a job? why must we read whatever that we're reading? for school? to me they're kind of pathetic answers :)

3:00 ~ frantically scanning through my readings for BGS class... i brought the wrong materials for today's session and had to photocopy like 20 pages after lunch. ended up reading only 2 of them o_O

12:00 ~ i realized i missed my economics math class. wasn't feeling too well when i woke up at about 8am so i decided to just lie there and the next thing i knew was 12pm... i rushed to school of course, feeling fresher than any time the past weeks cuz of the 12 hours of sleep. thank you Xin Yi :)

anyway, it's 1:15am on Friday now :) i'm gonna have to write an appeal letter to the MOE for late return of the deed. thanks Mom, for getting it signed real quick, though you just came back from your rare holiday trip.

Tuan feels happy he managed to get what he wanna give to his pretty young thing. He feels happy that the gang's good. he feels happy that he's gonna get his laptop soon.

Tuan feels sad... he doesn't know why he's a university student. he doesn't know what he's doing here... he knows he mustn't let what's been happening happen in the first place... and Tuan feels sad as a friend's troubled in love.

For a good day to come... =)

my body's protesting... the hunky frame keeps signaling naughty things that say it could collapse any moment... especially this morning... okay that's quite not a hunky thing...

after many rounds of negotiations, me and my body have reached a consensus, that i should sto slacking and do my work after school... that i should not stay out till too late at night... yeah the thing is just that i need to go to bed at night, no matter how late, and not in the morning, no matter how early...

if you know what i mean...

anyway...

i closed my eyes and drifted into a no dream fantasy at 6am this morning... after a 4-hour struggle with my AS evaluative essay... i opened my eyes and slipped into reality at 12pm, when class was already over for 15 minutes... erm...

i kind of like my essay, though i didn't really know what i should include in it... and i kind of like the topic too... it's a case for torture... you know, it's interesting, especially like now when people start to debate over the morals and ethics of torture... why torture? why not?

Lan Anh asked what's wrong with polygamy... what's wrong? =)

anyway...

Lusi asked me for a dollar just now... and there was nothing in my wallet... i felt so pathetic hahaha... it's times like this that make me truly realize and feel the meaning of good thrift... no worries though, STB has come just in time =)

it drizzled... and it rained... and Tuan got all wet... and his gelled hair mixed with the naughty raindrops and there was this sticky mess of liquid on Tuan's head... luckily he didn't gel his hair the HARD way today... and Tuan felt like he was looking really funny... he wanted to get home quick...

and Tuan felt like a woman in Esprit just now... he must look real good in the white jacket and the ivorish pair of shades... okay he felt narcissistic... =)

i wanna try out many many new things, like deferring my studies for a year to travel to Africa and to go Japan to learn the language, like going home to work for an NGO in HCMC, like dancing and acting (well i've never been in a dance society but the passion is in my blood baby)...

i realize, i haven't quite had a chance to do just any of them... i have done many many other new things though, but they don't quite sound cool...

like going sleepless for 2 nights over the weekend... after consecutive late nights (or shall i say early mornings) and in the midst of overflowing (and overdue) assignments...

one says it's crazy... another now knows why i'm slimming down (i'm now standing precariously on the line that separates a guy and a girl)... to me, it's kind of fun, when there's a good reason to burn the nights :)

anyway...

i met up with many people on saturday at NTU... SMU might have a bar that scribbles wine promotions on a chalk board along the concourse... to me it's kind of a facade to disguise the SMUggling culture the school is effectively nurturing... we're different... i think it's right here in NTU and NUS that people knock Jack Daniel's shots and Baron's with little reservation =)

Disclaimer: I'm not drunk.

i love Stanley... he got me my ginger beer... =) and the fridge looks nice... Stanley, i want our photo SeRiEs...

the night closed as me and Angeline talked... besides her, i didn't really catch up with any one... She Weay has SEXY slippers hahaha... i wanna get them for my fren... but don't know where to...

it's gonna be midnight soon... and i dont feel like sleeping... funny, how i thought i wouldn't be able to do anything witthout at least 8 hours of sleep every day... funny, how i kind of am late less often now... (if i'm up late, i prefer not to go to school... that's why).

SMU News: AS needs a newscasting clip... i'll be speaking on the haze? i'd like it. Creative Thinking class tomorrow at 8:30... AS last week's homework to be due (and marks deducted for late submission)... Econs math assignment to be discussed with my group tomorrow... BGS readings and additional readings just because a Wharton guy is sitting in class this Thurs... and i must attend stats class this Fri...

seems like i have no life anymore...

Shed.Ink was kind of fun. it's this overnight script writing competition organised by the drama club of SMU (called Stage It). tougher than i'd thought. like we were given clues at intervals of 2 hours and supposed to incorporate the clues into our script somehow. the clues were of all kinds possible, short clips, pictures, a quote, a song... people were sleeping all over in the lounge... i was one of the very few who persevered till the end. i'm proud of me and my group; each of us did what we could :)

anyway, i couldn't wake up for class yesterday morning, the ultimate end result of a week plus of late nights (or very early mornings). it was the 5th time or so that i missed that particular class. i wonder if the prof remembers who i am. he kind of looks questioning at me when i'm in class, as if he was asking why i'm there...

the Latin food workshop was cool... i like the turnip and carrots dish the most (a kind of salad i suppose). what a pity i didnt go to the movie screening and missed out the frozen uncooked fish thingy...

Tuan wonders if he could do math homework at all.

oh i wanted to ask a Stage It member about the club. i might wanna try it out next year. but the people didnt look very approachable so yeah, forget it :)

and Tuan feels kind of concerned... about friendships... about school stress... not that Tuan is very stressed... but his friend is...

Tuan is going to NTU soon... :)

sleep early tonight, i must... been hitting the bed at 3am every single night... well i know it's the routine biological clock hours at NTU and NUS... but ain't working this way at SMU man... i'm exhausted hahaha...

somehow i wasn't too sad getting back my mid term econs math paper... the mean score's 65... i got 45... it could have been much worse had i not copied about 20 plus marks from my friends... i guess i expected it, and i dont feel i deserve any higher marks... that's how i wasn't feeling too bad just now...

BGS class... i so wanted to skip... but a friend said, why is skipping even an option? i was, erm, stunned... anyway, my individual proposal wasn't too bad... it was quite good actually... but again, i kind of dont deserve the grade... life's unfair i suppose...

gonna sleep soon soon... good night every one... and muacks :)

Richard's birthday :) we had dinner at Pepper Lunch (speak of oxymorons)... my order was taken wrongly; salmon became beef... we took nice photos, and Richard and Brian managed to smile a little bit =) the birthday boy was happy with the shirts we got him... yay :)

my first time at Mc Cafe outside Shaw House... feel like making it my favourite urban oasis, such lovely setting with lovely music and lovely coolness :) it was at night though; maybe it would be scorching hot at noon hahaha. we had Royce chocolate, and i actually liked it =) before opening the box Richard said something about girlfriends which i think is so right =)

we left when we couldn't stay any longer, or we would all miss the last bus home... some phone call came late at night that kind of changed our mood but it's alright, we'll be here always (i hope)... =)

somehow, i feel a tinge of fear... c'est la vie, i guess... :)

Tues 17 Oct: Lusiana's birthday... i didn't get to see her and wished her happy birthday that day itself... i only managed to text her a wish =( Happy Birthday k...

i went to the gym for the first time... ran and ran... did sit ups... worked my arms... and bathed in nice shampoo and soap :) it felt good... looks like my tummy's getting some shape hahaha... yeah right, after 1 workout...

Taking the Quantum Leap to Peace an Development... Dr. Lawrence Carter Sr... "quantum leap" is a great example of an oxymoron hahaha... the idea is cool though... and people of faith, perhaps it's time to realize the difference between having a faith in God and a faith of God... "God" here refers to religious beliefs and teachings per se, not Jesus in particular...

i wonder... is peace in the Middle East really possible if every one started and nurtured a quantum leap of and in their own?

by the way, ever wonder why it's called the Middle East? =)

SESS Ties That Bind night was more fun than most people expected, especially the food (not only because it was FREE). it was so good that i took the caterer's name card before leaving =) there was this band by exchange students from the Philippines; they're talented. many people think the lead singer is gorgeous, but i think she looked a bit like a homosexual. okay that's quite mean...

oh i was sabotaged to play this limbo game... but it was fun actually =) like we had to groove a little bit to the random music and cross the bar at the same time. and i was so surprised i could get to the final 2 o_O it was my first time playing limbo hahaha. anyway, Richard was next on the sabotage list. he touched the Dean's wife every here and there =)

we met up with one of us who felt a little bit down and had to leave the night for a while =( and every one went for dessert. me and Richard had a tough time ordering; the aunty didnt speak any english. and i felt so annoyed when Richard told us that the woman behind me kind of spoke to her husband in a tone that said, these stupid foreigners come to S'pore and cant speak any bit of Chinese.

what the hell... but no worries lady, i'm thinking of taking a chinese course soon =)

anyway, i had my first class for Creative Thinking this morning. it seems less troublesome than others, like little homework and reading hahaha. just a group project, which is an everyday business in SMU. i suggested Apple to be my group name, cuz Apple means "we're better than just Creative". then the group really took it =)

em yeu gave me a wake-up call, and i felt so good =) anh nho em nhieu...

i'm at a telok blanghan flat :) it's this place inhabited by Yuan Tian, Siran and Max (it's this guy who gets sexcited at the sight of me). the girls are preparing stuffs for the hotpot, yay =) erm i'm supposed to help out... but i dont know what i should do with the knives and the food and all... i dont even hold the knife in the right way o_O my mum always laughs hard whenever she sees me holding a knife...

they asked if i could have spicy food... erm well Vietnamese are supposed to be able to... but i think i'm gonna perspire a lot hahaha...

the flat is small... but the people are nice... and the neighbours are nice to... on my way in this aunty asked my friends if they wanted more barley water =) and there was this walking and hopping pigeon along the corridor... seems like everyone hates it though hahaha... cuz of its droppings i think :D

it's 11:55. and i'm home, feeling good about it =) the hot pot was really spicy; i choked having a piece of vegie soaked in finger-licking-spicy soup. but the 4 or 5 of us still managed to have little left over :) we all love hot pots; and we all missed home... miss our moms...

anyway, i wanna thank Siran and Yuan Tian and Max for being such great hosts =) not because they didnt let me touch anything in the kitchen (perhaps they were worried about the food), or because they didnt let me help clear the table after it all (well, i dont think i would break anything but yeah). i wanna say thanks cuz they made me feel at home =) they even walked me to the bus stop, and didnt leave till my bus came. well but my bus came really fast so yeah :)

i'm gonna watch Friends on 5 soon... it's gonna be midnight :) i just love the sitcom :) i love the Friends quotes on Erlin's blog :)

but in the end, i didnt catch the episode... but i'm not sad, cuz i had a lucky chat with a pretty young thing :)

i had a wonderful day with wonderful people :) it's probably the coolest day i have since the 6th of Sept. i wanna hug all of them. but it's gonna be quite drama so yeah, i didnt, hahaha.

we went to a really nice place for lunch, before walking about and getting Indonesia's best known export [haze] for a while... then we felt like catching The Departed... and we did... it was a really nice show i think, despite all the coarse language and occasional extreme violence... though 2 of us prefer Infernal Affairs... well i think the world sometimes could really be a cruel place, not at all for the faint hearted...

anyway, we passed by Taka a little while and Felicia and I were so excited seeing the kids' fashion show... no i'm no paedophile, but the kid models were really cute =) i imagined myself catwalking and all actually hahaha... but i'd prefer my kids to be up there performing... i'll be so proud =)

then we had dinner... i never expected the Coffee Club... never really liked the place hahaha... but circumstances kinda made it the most convenient then... we wanted to surprise Richard with a little cake... and we did it good =) he looked really happy... and i felt so happy too seeing that =)

i'm glad we could go out... i'm glad we know each other... i'm really glad...

it's times like this, when i feel a little bit disoriented with life, that make me all the more cherish the good friends the uncertain life brings to me... knowing that changes are the only constant in life...

i might get to know new people... but i never forget the good old friends who share sweet and bitter sweet memories with me... =) i feel lucky just thinking about them...

i hope i could be up on time for tuition tomorrow... been slacking a lot this week... when i'm supposed to catch up on my school work... it's always been the case... like i always slack and only race at the last lap... but "this is not a race; it's a marathon"... yup, it's gonna be FOUR years... and every thing counts...

i hope Ivan had fun with the clique in Sentosa today... i hope Yun Hui is fine... =( i miss you all... and i'm sorry that we haven't met for so long... and i'm so sorry for what happened...

by the way, amigos para siempre... means friends forever or something in spanish... =) we wanna make it our friendship motto... so cute hahaha... and we wanna write on all the receipts of our meals happy wishes every time we go out to celebrate birthdays... =) and we might wanna watch movies with a "The" in the title on our birthdays, hahaha...

Friday the 13th is now yesterday… well actually nothing bad has happened to me this day ever… but something real bad has happened to me per se… at that time I was too young to grab it all…

anyway I’m glad I had a good Friday the 13th =) me and Ivan planned to meet at 12 for lunch first… but we both had a late night and couldn’t really wake up… just when I wanted to message him and ask if we could meet later, I got an sms from him saying just that =)

We had lunch at LJS. Ivan updated me on a few things… I was so shocked hearing of a friend… couldn’t believe he behaved that way… and I feel sad knowing that YH and Jeremy are still on the rocks… and I don’t think Jem should act that way at all… =( anyway, Hafiz came and gave us a lift to TJ… hahaha I thought that was quite cool… we met some old friends there =) it always feels good coming back to TJ =) and I talked to Mrs Tag about scholarships… to Ms Ng about psychology and Gaya =) seems like Shaun is doing very well… hahaha…

Then Ivan, Mei Hui, Wenny and me went to Marina Square to KBox… yay, it’d been quite some time since I last sang there… I know I don’t sing well but somehow I still wanna sing… hahaha… even attempted some Chinese pieces =) Jia Yi and Sammy joined us when we were about to be done… but they refused to come in and wait till we finished the last few songs… don’t know why hahaha…

Dinner at café cartel was good… good food, and good fun, to a certain extent hahaha, considering how nasty some truth questions were… =) then Wenny had to leave as she’s having SAT tomorrow… Mei Hui left with her… the rest played pools… I still suck =( [Eunice, I think I’d lose to you hands down] but because I lost my team had some great fun hahaha… though the forfeits were really disgusting… =) Ivan, I think we both rock =)

Anyway I bumped into quite a number of people today… Si Ying insisted that I take the sushi money… but I really don’t know how much it was now… =)

I think Ivan and I look very good hahaha… I think it’s fun catching up with old friends and all; if only Hafiz could stay with us… I think I need to crash NTU one more time… I think Sherly always comes to town at the wrong time, like when I’m not free… hahaha…

I hope Janice is fine =( I really wish I could say something better… but I couldn’t…

I woke up real late today… like when I logged in to MSN my friend was already in school for hours… and I was still yawning… it’s good that I stay near school and I didn’t take long to get dressed this time… hahaha…

the library seemed colder than usual to me… and I just put on my jacket for 5 minutes when one of us asked if anyone could lend her a jacket… she didn’t bring hers… and I gave her mine… well, others were not proper for her or something… and I didn’t study at all throughout the 3 hours there… till dinner time… maybe because it was too cold… hahaha…

They wanted to go shopping at PS after dinner… someone mentioned MOS but the majority didn’t want so yeah… anyway, I brought purple earrings and socks… don’t know why but my socks keep going missing… erm… oh it seems like I know best about shopping hahaha…

Then we went home… oh no I forgot to get the jacket back from the girl… man, I don’t wanna bring my pink lining jacket… it’s sacred, lol…

The people are nice… though I still cant quite talk much to them… one of them can cook really well I think… and she likes Vietnamese food… and there’s this guy who has pretty good sense of humour hahaha… and there’s a choir person… I think I can sing as well as her though =) and there’s this cute little boy who’s much taller than me but you can tell he’s just a cute little boy from the first glance… hahaha…

I hope I can talk more to them… oh I got to know that they spent the night at the bbq place after I left, and shared with each other a lot about their love lives… man I missed the juiciest part of all… I kept asking them to tell me about it but they said the atmosphere wasn’t right =(

Somehow I’m feeling a bit sad now… or rather a little bit on the a lot side… well well… I wonder why… is it because I didn’t study? Probably not… is it because I didn’t remember Stanley’s birthday? Probably not too… hahaha I don’t know… I just … feel weird… like, changes are the only constant in life? Well, then I gotta adapt… peace out…

Oh I chatted with a few good old friends today… and yeah, they’re still good old friends =) one of them unknowingly inspired me to study better… I gotta stand by my decision man… yes, some things never change… I hate life sometimes, when some things do change…

my AS group met for the first time. and i kinda like the people in the group. it's been quite some time since i last felt like liking people at our first meet, since i came to SMU hahaha. anyway, we couldn't finish everything and had to meet again some other time...

as i didnt have the AS textbook (i should be the only one without it in the course), and we needed to prepare our own work before meeting again, me and another group member decided we could just get it done right then... she's from China... i think China people who just came here might not look too friendly and not talk much... but they are actually very nice people... the friend was really patient with my absent-mindedness o_O hahaha...

then i left with Minh to go to her place... a lovely place with lovely people... man i love people too much today, hahaha... they cooked dinner... i asked if they always do... Minh said no... only when every one could get together or when there's a special guest... she's really too nice to me... her boyfriend said only to me when he was sending me out that i'm like her dear little brother... man i wanna cry... she's really helped me a lot... he has too... though i only met him once... i will never forget what he told me... i felt so uncool... and grateful that i could come to their place and meet great people...

i think Minh and Vinh are so lucky... they love each other so much... and they understand and "tolerate" each other so much... and they're so proud of each other... when they speak of the other i could see how their eyes spark with love and passion... :)

and hey, he said i look good... well i can't quite deny that... hahaha... oh the other day i bumped into a classmate and her friend said my hair was nice... and i really was having a bad hair day cuz i woke up late that day... then she said i should have more bad hair days... well i'm shy... =)

thank you Mr Wong, for the willingness and the understanding to be my surety... i won't let you down... i won't let Eva down either... i promise myself i won't let anyone down...

oh i think i was quite bad yesterday... my mom messaged me the night before and i didnt reply... she messaged again in the morning and i didnt reply either... then she called... and i had to lie i was too busy and all =( truth is, she asked me about my scholarship and all and i was having a headache settling the stuff and i didnt really wanna make her any more worried about it... sorry Mom...

i simple love our mondays... we would chill out and forget about the world together... that's how we wanna put it... and we wanna keep it a sacred, and secret, thing... hahaha i dont know if i should be blogging about this but yeah, as not many people know of my blog, i dont think it would be bad... and i really wanna tell you that i love our mondays :)

we always go town for dinner and then go to starbucks or somewhere for a drink or dessert... and we talk all night long... about anything on earth... seriously, anything... we are 4 different personalities that come from all walks of life that click... i'm so happy we're together... and i'm so happy you feel happy that we're together... :)

how much is one's soul? 21 grams... how deep was your first cut? 6-year waiting - long distance - nothing much - deep regrets... is the us work study trip worth it? well you get to travel :) what should you do? keep your distance... is the rice ball nice? yes it is, and the box costs so much :)

and though i was too irritated to write on our last monday (because my keys were missing), it was great as ever... and though i was so tired i didnt mind staying with you at all... :) i'm coming to love you... i hope we can be together for a long long time to come... though you all are from social science and me economics... =(

i planned to be proper and blog about a great day i had... but seems like i can't now... this is probably the strangest place to blog; i'm 3 metres away from my room door, sitting on the doorsteps outside the main door, cuz i can't find my house keys anywhere in my bag, my jeans, and even my shoes.

i don't wanna waste another 30 bucks asking the landlady to come and open the door for me. and i don't think she would come at such an unearthly hour. it's past midnight now. and i don't have any other homie's number but a guy's. and he's working till late tonight.

seriously, keys are my curse always. i lost the house keys 2 times at Tampines. and just last week, i dropped them in my room and locked myself out.

i'm all sweaty now. and dirty. and i don't know how to get to school tomorrow. man... we were talking about how each of us enjoys seeing how things unfold, like relationships and friendships and all. i never imagine i'd end up being so pathetic like this...

today'd been great. but i'm in no mood to blog.

i'm in school now, studying with Eddie. oh well, seems like everyone has become a mugger here. it's the holiday week, and almost all the study rooms are booked. man i'm still so not used to this.

i will study harder. okay maybe i should say i will study hard. but i hope i dont have to be like all about studying... :)

i met 5 good old pals and we were at suntec, having fun and reminiscing the past. the DJ console was overused by us hahaha. i thought we were very inconsiderate =) anyway, we managed to video clip the dedication lines. it was pretty nice. then we moved to play pools. i was better at posing for photos than getting the balls in. man, the girls made me feel like a woman... we reached home at like 2, and stayed up for nothing, until everyone was tired :)

i met this person yesterday morning to go to a bbq. i didn't know the place hahaha. then it turned out that the friend actually didnt know where it is either. i felt cheated o_O and i think it was quite stupid hahaha, cuz i was at clementi and i went all the way back to smu and then thee place happened to be near clementi...

well the bbq was pretty fun. we sang, we picked rocking songs, some even grooved. i asked if they clubbed. sadly, no. and apparently they're very reserved and not very daring... =)

it made me miss all the good old pals and the good pals and the good new pals... i wasn't really myself at the bbq... hahaha... i wanna be myself... i want my good company... i want you...

Eddie's complaining we haven't got much done. hahaha both of us are on msn, and we decided to go Busy... as if it helped...

it's a new week... :) have fun there... and don't forget me :)

looks like things are starting to get better after the cruelly excruciating days... my homies just share with me their internet access... meaning i'd have stable connection from now on... well i hope so... anyway they were really nice trying to help me get proper signals, especially the girl... i think her boyfriend was jealous lol...

anyway i wanna recap on the bad days... good medicines to my bad discipline...

the only good thing that happened was me completing my BGS proposal in 3 hours when every one of us was given a week or even two to. that night i stayed up till 4am to study for my math test... and it couldn't have been better the following morning when i woke up late and locked myself out of the room and missed the entire paper... it was the baddest morning... and the baddest day came true when i had a quiz for the afternoon class and realized i hadnt read anything up for that...

another 4am night and i was only a bit late for another math test on friday... then i went to retake the other math paper... well i did badly for both paper... but i gotta say that the math profs were very nice to me... i forgot to bring my calculator and one of them asked the class if anyone brought an extra one... and the prof whose test i missed was kind enough to let me go early...

lesson 1: as i can't get rid of math, i gotta love it. and study good.

lesson 2: i shouldn't snooze my alarm anymore or i would not be up in time.

anyway i was happier in the afternoon... i went back to TJ for a while... with my uncle... he wanna send his son there... there were few people around; most should be mugging for their exams at some secluded corners on Earth (hopefully not doing something else)... i was happy cuz the few who were there still remember me... and i was happy seeing Mrs Lim again... she's always nice...

lesson 3: patience pays... sometimes as much as 15 bucks when you bargain over the price of handsets...

lesson 4: i need to be rich so that i wouldn't have to feel the need to bargain hahaha... (not me who bargained by the way, not for myself at least).

and i realize, the days could have been much worse if someone wasn't there for me =)

it's been a hectic day. sure it is. i had to copy my AS homework during class and only managed to hand in when it ended. i had a quick lunch and moved to do the BGS proposal till dinner time. i had a quick dinner too. and i moved to the BGS thingy again. until i was done.

but i was happy, that i could at last be disciplined to do my work. but maybe it was because the proposal was a group work kind of thing. if not, i might have just ignored it. hahaha i don't know. i think i'm quite bad.

i was also happy cuz people were cool today. every one suddenly met up for lunch today. it was kind of long since the last time :)

and i was most happy when i logged in to skype :)

made me feel like studying for the math test tomorrow. i think i'm gonna flunk. but i'm gonna study. or i'd let down so many people, including myself. i know it sucks but yeah, at least i feel motivated to study :)

it was wed, and now it's thurs. the test is 8 hours away. i'm gonna hit the bed at 4.

good luck to me baby!

P/S: and Eddie is such a dear :)

it's exactly 5 years on since the day i came to S'pore :)

we're from this batch 6, 20 of us. i don't know how many are where in this world right now. many are in the states, a few in the UK and others in S'pore.

happy anniversary :)

yup, that's some kind of motto for Miss World pageants...

anyway, i caught the latest show the other night. Miss Czech claims the title. she isn't too lovely. but i guess Miss World just isn't looking for the best look, but the best look for charity work. she'll be travelling around the world. man, what a prize!

Miss Vietnam wasn't too stunning in the black Ao Dai that boasted of fine silk and glittery embroidery. but she was the people's choice to be through to the semi finals. i was totally shocked. but i suppose she looked good in casual wear. and boy, she could speak English, even better than the few who needed translators, and the few who just couldn't help being incomprehensible. okay i'm quite mean here, hahaha. but really...

Miss S'pore wasn't too good either. Miss Scotland represented Nothern Europe.

i kind of like the looks of Miss Mongolia. she isn't the head-turning beauty sort of thing but is truly unique. well, if beauty and hotness are things to judge by alone, i know of someone who could mesmerize all senses just by looking the way she is :)

i kind of wonder if good looks are important... i think they are... like now...

i woke up at 10; and the BGS meeting started at 9. and it was already postponed from 8. it was all my fault, sleeping at 3, switching off the alarm set at 7. oh well, the hong kong drama was pretty nice hahaha.

i'm supposed to be revising math for economics now. the test is on this thurs. a nice friend is helping me out. with almost everything. after this i'm moving on to another excruciating pain of statistics. man... the test is on friday.

only after that could i enjoy the one week break. i'm gonna be a survivor. be with me k :)

anyway...

we watched Felicia and Ahmad perform the duet again last friday. but this time it was transformed into a classic piece of harmony and emotions. they were soooo good they could have won the title if it'd been the finals and not semi finals. oh i think Ahmad was wearing the exact same maroon shirt i have hahaha.

after dinner with them (we decided we'd not eat at the school kopitiam anymore cuz there are rats who pose when people take photos of them) i rushed off to NTU. it was the night. they were practising a dance when i came. and i was so cool to have found my own way there, hahaha. we had fun in the room (yup, just let your imagination fly)...

i slept at 9 plus... on half a bed... in case my friend wanna sleep more... the night was so special... just that i couldn't hear your voice...

there was so much work to do. my mind entered a rat race of proportion the moment i woke up. should i do some research for BGS or revise my math? i chose neither. hahaha.

came sunday. i was sad. i couldnt do much. though i knew i need to.

fortunately monday is bright.

and i wanna sing out loud the song that goes... "but never never kiss me on a sunday a sunday cuz that's my day of rest" :) but you can kiss me any time...