Wednesday 28 March 2007
Promise!
"hey Tuan, are you a recipient of the FireFly scholarship? cuz i called the agency and they said they didn't award any TJCian the scholarship. could you send me your award title and the year of award? it's for the college day report book i'm working on now." this is great! STB hasn't axed me and TJCians are already an extinct breed...
anyway i lost my way in a condo 2 hours ago. was there for the new tuition assignment. this girl plays soccer. and she hates council hahaha. looks like we're gonna fight. we talk good though, like friends. and boy i like the way she asked questions. the RJC caliber. and oh i should stop disillusioning people that i'm totally smart.
i presented on "cahgne is teh olny cnotsnat" last Tuesday. the intellectual minds challenged me with the Sahara, the Everest, the ocean, the sun... futile efforts against the one and only truth that holds. is it? cuz religious minds say it's God. interesting... and oh i'd really like to know if there's something you don't think will ever change.
last Saturday/Sunday, Hula Girls preluded The Lives of Others. fortunately the scare only ran for like 5 minutes. almost ruined my Picture House virgin visit. anyway, communism = the Smurfs, atheism, egalitarian utopia and mission impossible IV. and it's time GDR-efficient intelligence entered the equation.
2007 is a year of good movies!
Tuan ♥
9:36 pm
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Friday 23 March 2007
night at the museum
LTB portfolio is a pain. if only i could have like two clones. one would be doing all the write-ups and the other doing all the write-ups as well (yup there's loads to write on) and me checking on the two clones' work. well no pain no gain. so trite but so true. jia you Eclipse!
and finally, me and Lusi reached the Asian Civilisations Museum. the high ceilings and the cosy galleries excited the otherwise tired me. but the "resistant" doors could really be good disincentives to some people. anyway we refused to check out the South Asia gallery hahaha.
and i love the little random sofa corners. made me feel like a sultan hahaha. and ooh the mosque place was quite fun too. and Lusi was acting all weird. or maybe she wasn't acting. sometimes i really have no idea hahaha. before we left, i found out that the ACM shop has the best of changing rooms.
Robbie Williams on Angels to end the sweet day on a sweet note!
Tuan ♥
11:34 pm
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Wednesday 21 March 2007
FRAB
we just had dinner. the 2 FRAB hours were exciting, us telling each other about our little stories. and i am happy :) to think that we hadn't met for like 6 weeks, which might not seem too long but it was indeed long for us. was missing them all to bits and feeling sad. ooh and i think Manhattan serves better prawns than Fish n Co.
quick facts: Brian seems to look more radiant these days. i can so totally pounce on him every time the boy dresses that charming way. and i'm somehow attracted to the now somehow prettier Felicia hahaha (oops), in a friendly way of course. ooh Richard has this little thing on his ring finger (ahem).
i love you! and i'd so love to have a union dinner with us all hahaha, us 4 and our other 4 ;) that'd totally be fun. just let me accomplish my mission and look for the right one k! someone who's gonna be much better than your 3s now (oops) :D
Lusi's memorising her COMM speech now. and it puzzles me how people can't get some obvious fun pick-up lines. Michelle's probably sleeping. it's been tough on her. and i'm gonna study now. cheers on!
Tuan ♥
10:49 pm
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Monday 19 March 2007
Monday theme
we started small. moved steady. slipped tight. and paid dearly. and we rocked unexpected today :) the prof brought us to this social innovation centre at SMU. and we all were so excited. i love LTB anyhow, even if the Autism One conference or the SWAP initiative doesn't materialize. all the amazing projects.
Monday happy hours started on this Melodies from the Heart show by disabled children from Indonesia. community service works two ways, we help people explicit (food and books and education) and they help us implicit (introspection), the way the kids brought us a lease of life off the consuming GPA rat race.
Tuan loves those days that theme up to something meaningful. like today :) and ooh, i learnt that i shouldn't be so appearance conscious; the disabled kids didn't care about the way they looked. they might look bad, but they performed good :) one other good thing: Lusi's a certified camwhore convert, totally. thanks to ME!
Tuan ♥
11:57 pm
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Sunday 18 March 2007
i've never been to me
psych test was physically draining. and satisfying too, the way it feels when you know exactly what you were writing about in the paper, especially when it was a concentrated knowledge and inquiry assessment. i feel like i could fall in love with school work soon. okay that'd be the one climax that i dread.
Downtown East barbeque chalet. sometimes i'm really impressed with my physical perseverance, especially in unrewarding things like a lone lost walk along Pasir Ris beach near midnight. hahaha so bloody irritated i wanted to bite myself. the night rocked on well into the morning. the sociable and charming me did it good despite not exactly knowing anyone there.
well i realized, after the chalet, that i'm so fortunate to have been here with all the love (platonic and romantic and academic) in the world, and that i'm also the quint-unfortunate to realize what's been on me too serious too late. the soul speak was orgasmic. i thought i knew myself. seems like i've never been to me.
here's a Crimson Tide quote, "we're here to preserve democracy, not to practise it." something to beautify my journalism bimbocy today so yup! by the way, while others are amassing oil and food stocks, S'pore wanna develop a sand reserves!
Tuan ♥
10:41 pm
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Friday 16 March 2007
intelligence
i mentioned Kishore Mahbubani when asked to cite someone who's "intelligent" (inverted comas cuz it's the exact word). he's the author of my favourite book, and he's proud to be an Asian who thinks Asians can't think. of course Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela and Lee Kuan Yew and Thomas Friedman would make the list any time.
and "intelligent" tests are so skewed any way i look at it. the SAT, the GRE, and you-fill-in-the-blank. psychology class was on intelligence. as long as you're no less than an average Joe and you study hard, likely that you would be more "intelligent" than you actually are. well not saying this to justify my dismal 1980 for SAT but yeah...
i believe in Howard Gardner's multiple intelligences (though some "intelligent" critics think the man mistook talents for intelligences). high SAT scores might mean one'd do well in college. but that should be about it. in fact, my RMSS group's research is on how physical attractiveness influences one's success in life.
and how should i drain the S'pore River?
Tuan ♥
11:31 pm
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Thursday 15 March 2007
high
it's some amazing feat that i managed to read up on microeconomics and (almost) complete the homework, and be done with one psychology chapter, all in a matter of 3 hours. well maybe the guilt of missing class urged me on to be Tuanefficient and use my brain proper.
sometimes i do wonder if i have actually been working hard. it's better. but not enough. and i get Tuanemonemo all over. but well, for the pure fact that i've missed out on the most important learning opportunities in SMU (RA, study missions and dance), i gotta work hard now to redeem myself.
it was a good day. good random chats and the good old mambo classic Dying inside to hold you just pump it up so high on me i feel the mambo adrenalin racing all over my body, after so long. and i'm on Higher now. the kind of house music that's my night cuppa. i realize i do love the politics of dancing.
Tuan ♥
11:21 pm
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Wednesday 14 March 2007
Romp
a dyke, a little gay boy and a slut (i mean it in the sweetest sense) had a food extravaganza at the riverside Modesto's last night. the little boy was totally into it and he didn't mind the saucy and sticky mess having the orgasmic pasta crab. seemed like the slut wanted to check the boy out so yeah, he did a catwalk. of course his ulterior motive was to see the slut strut her stuffs.
the dyke made the little gay boy feel so cheated. she didn't pull off the butchy pussy look she promised. to think the boy made sure he looked cutesy gay. ah but who cares; the boy was loving it. he felt cute. and the slut, she was worried she'd be a tad too slutty hahaha. too cautious there, cuz she looked fine. and man she could strut. well except for the random grimace.
so they felt powered up at St James at 11, after pondering on the many young punks and tipsy smokey miniskirties along the way. looked like the dyke-gay-slut troupe was the closest to recherche (yup this is the exact word) in the house. too late to catch the romping actions of the band but well, the dyke moved, the boy smoothed and the slut grooved it on and on. sexy!
and we totally loved the sleazing white light and the killing red shade. no rompy pick up actions as planned (by the dyke for the boy and the boy for the slut and the slut for the dyke). no housepour at all. the little gay boy reached home feeling so tamed and satisfied.
Tuan ♥
1:32 pm
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Monday 12 March 2007
Paris je T'aime
16... well didn't exactly count but a 4 by 4 collage of the separate love stories should give a 16, no? yup so Paris je T'aime paints up this picture of a city of bright lights, blind (literal and figurative) love and blinking (funny and nervous) laughs of vampiry make-out and old folky sweet nothings... a good two hours of reverie indulgence and floating contentment!
almost all food places closed by the time we savoured some "restroom orgasm" (maybe only me did)... afresco Coffee Club wasn't too bad. well except that Lusi was getting all hot hahaha. lobster linguini was good (right Sherly?)... just that now i feel Pasta Cafe serves better lobster pasta. anyway there was this cute (ugly but adorable) manager-cum-waitress who kept coming to us.
so that was how i spent my Monday, after playing audience to long hours of LTB presentation... i realize i'd always be in love with seafood... and i wanna visit Paris... pretty little place!
Tuan ♥
11:44 pm
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Saturday 10 March 2007
teeny whiny monotony
and so my LTB group had a good day at the YMCA event. played with the kids. talked to the parents. distributed the booklets. the camcorder was with me. managed to capture camera shy smiles and role playing frolics. You Zi said we grade driven minds are losing the true sense of the project. well...
there was this volunteer at the centre. who never looked at the camera. and her name label read, NAT. isn't that like, my initials? so i was attracted by the coincidence, and the camera "contempt". we talked, and i was very tempted to tell her my name's NAT. hope i didn't zoom in on her too much.
i feel like registering as a volunteer at the centre. a lady asked if it was a one off visit. i didn't know what to say.
anyway today's monotony could kill. could've gone back to TJ for orientation night, but decided not to cuz i wanna study. i miss the little dates that make my days. my player's on The Lake House, and i miss Xin Yi. platonic thoughts.
Tuan ♥
8:57 pm
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Thursday 8 March 2007
[convicted]
it was a good day for LTB. the trip to Rainbow Centre turned out so fine i thought of an A- grade, for a moment. but well it's a distant dream (not even reality). anyway we managed to distribute the booklets, yup! and had 2 interviews. AND we chanced upon a YMCA event that suits our purpose.
ooh today's International Women's Day! to all my ladies, have a happy day! Mom and Sis, Mrs Kubodera, Lusi, Michelle, Felicia, Janice, Sherly, Ying Herng, Jing Ting, Lan Anh, Yun Hui, Sarah, Xin Yi. and i nearly forgot today's Jing Li's birthday! happy birthday girl.
i met a friend. and i realize, yet again, that life is precious. not because there's too little time to breathe in the wonders of it. life is too fragile. shatterable. i'm so sorry Diana. and so i'm convicted. i'm sorry Mom and Sis. convict. music.
and i called home. when Mom messaged asking how i am. and whether i forgot today's March 8. seemed like i sounded sad. cuz she said so. it was weird how i didn't wish her anything until she asked for it. really weird. and she didn't know. that i cried on the phone. well i hope she didn't.
Tuan ♥
11:21 pm
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Wednesday 7 March 2007
hopelessly hopeful
seems like a good many are feeling down lately... school. friends. crush. relationship. typically teen! well i'm "in" for school and friends. though at times i miss the sensual excitement of feeling for someone, but that's a small thing. school's bad. and i haven't seen FRAB for a month.
been studying hard. but i still feel that i wouldn't make it. it's intuitively badder than the A levels. well just savaging whatever i could to cushion the fall as much as i can. proud to be a hopelessly hopeful. and i realize i really don't like it when i have to desperately be concerned about grades.
don't i love whining? well i do. Rajesh says blogs are good for self indulgence. he doesn't like the cyber culture. neither do i. but i love blogging now. an intimate way of self conversation. and here it goes:
Reading makes the broad man,
Speaking the ready man,
Writing the exact man.
Francis Bacon
Tuan ♥
11:45 pm
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Tuesday 6 March 2007
musicking
there was Impresario 2007, an arts production that kind of sucked (except Ah-licia). i wasn't too sure if some performers were singers or dancers. probably neither. and most of the dancers made better strippers; dressed to kill, but couldn't dance.
there was Stage It rehearsal. my first in like a month? 6 hours of workshop. and i realized how the same line could speak many shades of meaning. ooh and "subtext" = "buttsex". i think creative people are gonna have sex lives that sizzle. i'm gonna be the 8th sister's boyfriend.
there was hapy hour Chilli Paddy peranakan lunch buffet with Lusi. we both are tired. the SMU show must go on anyhow. hope she's feeling better now that Gaya's over. and there was Tuesday lunch with Michelle. here came the drama that kind of hurt.
there was LTB and RMSS and Psych and Microecon and COMM. i'm like a vacuum cleaner, diligently sucking in bits and pieces of stuffs that shouldn't have been left out in the first place. there was rain and pain. and i walked through it all. keep that up boy!
Tuan loves it when he gets to Pon De Replay!
Tuan ♥
9:22 pm
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Friday 2 March 2007
untitled
Googled out 3 searches during class, and the first returns were all on Wikipedia. we had the stone age, lived through the BC time, witnessed the Renaissance, advanced to the World Wars. and now it seems like we're in Wiki-world. ever wonder how we pulled through the pre-Wiki years?
it was a bad day. i was dead scared. and dejected. the return of non faith. the haunt that is out of proportion. it was me who fed its growth. and it's me who it's feeding on. right now.
you know how it sucks seeing something spiralling out of control and there's nothing you could do about it? well it sucks much more when you could do something about it but you haven't done anything about it.
argh i shouldn't sound like a total reject and get down to work instead! and yup, thanks so much, to those who care! you know who you are.
Tuan ♥
12:02 am
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