Sunday 29 April 2007
poetic history
i like boys, but i do prefer girls,
once i've had enough of her as a girl,
i can still make use of her as a boy.
Goethe
it's a distich in the original German form. some good lines to romp up a peaceful sunday.
anyway, been down for stage it. and up on a birthday that left me nonchalant about birthday. and a campfire; it's always great to be back to the good old school, especially to check out the new boys and girls. there were the sweet darlings and man i can love their sweat. and a musical. a week that shouldn't have been budget.
what's history? it's the romance behind the facts. it's the Iron Curtain and the Berlin Wall. it's a Madonna that constantly adapts to time. it's capitalism, socialism and now is terrorism. it's Rorschach inkblot. history is the literature of life. it is seen through a rear mirror on a moving car, and only men of vision could ride a good journey. history lives; it outlives even the men who brush on the timeline. history is you and me.
and i should always be with you.
Tuan ♥
5:20 pm
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Sunday 22 April 2007
one week
monday. why should a loving man let another man sleep naked with him and his wife? and why should a loving woman wanna hold another man's hand, in front of the husband? oh is it love. The Red Cockatoo's a puzzle. anyway Lusi wanted to flirt with an empty chair.
tuesday. a failed job hunt with CK the metro boy. in love with him. and i had 2 ice cream cones. foosball battle at Adidas. Paradiz pools. boys' night out at Boat Quay. sort of gay until boys and a girl met at Chocz. on finger guessing game. we ruled.
wednesday. S'pore Street Festival briefing. sounded like a lot of fun. Changing Appetite revisited. and Fond Hugs is now simply Fond. Stage It ended early. vodka root beer, courtesy of Lusi before the Mambo lovers packed the floor. Phuture sex sound wasn't too sexy.
thursday. FRAB New York New York lunch. 1 free main course for every 3 ordered. 4's a nice number sometimes. bad news: the hostel refused to let me change room [%*&(*)*@&(&(%$$&] i wanna move out. but can't o_O
friday. Lusi does have some good taste. in slippers. off to Sentosa on the monorail (my first!!!). Palawan beach. unsightly sea plants and the "unknown". i wanna know how to swim. Lusi's gonna marry twice. and me to someone i don't know. lovely music at Bora Bora. the night was peaceful at Vivo City.
saturday. LTB dinner at Ricciotti. the turkish ice cream guy amused me. and the Billy Bombers' guy must've really hated us. oops. and happy birthday to Zouk. it's sweet 16.
so the first week went fine. except for the COMM grade. which sucks. gotta get a job or something. or i'd have to stay home most of the time. tomorrow's gonna be clean-up day. the room's getting way too messy. ah i need a good fix. guilt ridden. sin ridden.
Tuan ♥
1:59 am
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Thursday 19 April 2007
memories reloaded
there's my very first proper hand written diary. the book was a birthday thing from my first proper crush hahaha. anyway i started writing in S'pore. was a spasmodic diarist so yeah, pretty surprised that the book's almost filled. stuffs from oct 10, '01 to jan 28, '05. "life takes its hues from the colours of your mind."
there're sweet neoprints with Li Ying, with Sarah, and with Kangya and Kayleigh. i miss Li Ying. the neoprint looked so sweet. we had so much together. and i hope i'd meet Kangya and Kayleigh soon now that my papers were all over. and Sarah, i'd be nice and say get well soon, though you ditched us last night.
there're photos of my family and me. i think my sister was so pretty and adorable. and Mom looked like she'd love me forever. i love you. there're also photos of the China trip, the VS Teachers' Day performance, and random snaps here and there. i miss Dunman High. and i miss TJ.
and so i was just randomly looking at stuffs in the room. and found these precious little things. thought i'd lost them all =) maybe blogs are more convenient. maybe me and Li Ying won't ever talk again. and maybe the good old days ain't coming back. but memories will live on in me.
Tuan ♥
11:23 pm
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Sunday 15 April 2007
hang-up
first holiday week's here. and all the fabulous plans are in - cidentally smashed by StageIt schedule. nice timing! to think i was all excited and in a life-is-beautiful kind of mood. it's now life-is-beautiful-until-you-know-it. i feel bad and sad and badder and sadder. who loves ruins? archeologists ain't human.
argh this hang-up will not be loved. i decide that StageIt wins most of the time. but occasional defeats wouldn't kill so yeah, sometimes when something happens to be more important, StageIt gotta give way. at least for this coming Friday and, i can't quite decide, either Wed or Mon. if only it could be both...
anyway exams are over. maybe i don't deserve good things in life right now (for thinking too much and doing too little and too late). but nah i cheered myself up sorting out the 3 top hand written letters of the year, in alphabetical order:
1. Lan Anh's New Year letter
2. Lusi's Valentine card
3. Xinyi's Birthday letters
i love you. the past few days were horrible (i mean every letter of it, capitalised) and these pretty little things made me think happy thoughts, and miss the time when i used to post at least one hand written thing every week. those were the days my friends. we thought they'd never end. yeah life-is-beautiful-until-you-know-it.
and the love poker pack's back with me. finally. but i can't find the peaceful looking worry person (i name him Naut). just when i wanna talk to him tonight...
Tuan ♥
10:45 pm
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Monday 9 April 2007
am to pm
i'm actually enjoying the texts i'm reading. e pathetically mathematical microecon is aesthetically (il)logical, somehow. and i love how RMSS just subtly celebrates multiple intelligences. and ooh i'm committing adultery with (introductory) psychology, banqueting on the multiple intellectual orgasms. who cares about the GPA? i'm grown and sexy.
well except that i do have to care about grades now. it was kinda cute, the way me and Lusi had it: grades = money; and money doesn't matter; it's what you can get with money. like how Lusi can get me with good grades and i matter. by the way that'd mean i'm like a social escort (haha funny). oh well but grades matter!!! oh fuck it.
so i have a hypocritical attitude to hipocrisy on the self actualization purpose of personal development.
well whatever that means. probably i'm malePMS-ing (pronounced /malepimsing/). yeah this is my second blank night. after celebrating some good random after hours cyber rolling on Easter. oh well it's grind time, if you know what i mean! for the battle begins tomorrow...
Tuan ♥
4:31 am
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Friday 6 April 2007
personality
………………………………………………………………....
anhtuan: what's this oxymoron thing about?
character building is an oxymoron: it is
anhtuan: hahaha tell me how pls
character building is an oxymoron: you cannot build character
character building is an oxymoron: either you have or you dont
character building is an oxymoron: so assuming we all have
character building is an oxymoron: its not the character that changes
anhtuan: ooh so u see it as creativity teaching eh
character building is an oxymoron: but the choices that we make that change and determine our characters
character building is an oxymoron: so we are building out options, our choices, our worldview, our perspective, our perceptions...
anhtuan: can it be character development then?
character building is an oxymoron: and they all go into character
character building is an oxymoron: yes that maybe
anhtuan: hahaha is this like a KI essay
Is 'character building' an oxymoron?: yes it is
………………………………………………………………...
so yup, just wanted to see what my personality's like (if i do have one). and check out your VisualDNA! it's pretty cool.
Tuan ♥
8:56 pm
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Wednesday 4 April 2007
04/04
first thing, it's 04/04, and it's Xinyi's 20th birthday :) yppah yadhtrib to you girl. and i don't know if it's some kind of "reminder", cuz i chanced on many 4s today. like i woke up at 4:04, and reached my tuition place at 4:44. yeah 4's your favourite number, and this paragraph's to you Xinyi :) hahah you're probably cursing me now for an unworthy present.
it's 5 days into my revision timeline. spent 2 days on RMSS and apparently that wasn't enough. on the bright side, i'm a slight bit ahead of schedule for microecons. matter of fact i can wrap it up tonight IF i can stay awake. to think i've been going on 6 sleep hours these days. sometimes i really am determined and disciplined. some people should really be proud of me.
and IF i can make it through this time, i will really be proud of my capacity to be a mugger. totally! ah i miss my sister...
Tuan ♥
9:42 pm
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Sunday 1 April 2007
1800 252 1324
on march 31, the blogosphere welcomed its newest member. apparently this random girl (literally) mistook my simplicity is beauty for length is strength hahaha. the girl's a total camwhore convert; and now she's into blogging. man i'm a proud convict who loves to inspire.
on april 1, i had my first, and best, april fools' prank :) a few honest concerned callers didn't even notice the date. an alarmed girl felt "extremely stupid". a sick friend told her mom about it only to realize it might be a joke. and a messager just asked, "are you like, still alive?"
the prank was for fun. but i realize you friends are for real. the AIDS hotline can serve more than its intended purpose sometimes. and if friends are like stars, you should be among the superstars. what a way to learn. probably the cheapest college ever.
Eddie dropped by. with good old beers. ah the best things in life come for free. literally. the beer was free. pumping me up before the battle resumes. yup 8 days to go to decide whether i shall stay here and continue looking good or stop being an invisible corrupt hand that sucks.
Tuan ♥
9:54 pm
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