Wednesday 31 January 2007
prelude
bad cough... i felt the symptomes for days... thought occasional deep throat activities would do no harm... until this morning... bad cough... seriously, it's irritating... the itch... it's a chore to go to the doctor's... especially when i'm not feeling feverish...
anyway... there was Patron's Day on Monday... dinner at Pasta Cafe on Tuesday... and a missed class today... spent the day writing on "Why should others be led by you? And what does leadership mean to you?" and coughing...
if you're good in bed you're bad in bed... and you're good in bed when you're bad in bed... it was a random line on the phone last night... and i thought it might sound a tad bit like a tongue twister... probably the sexiest one... hmm...
yeah, FRAB hours in 30 minutes... my second birthday dinner, and it's legitimate for us to be posh and camwhore and laugh the night away... just that i can't have fried stuffs and sweet desserts... hmm... Lusi says it's bad for the sore throat... damn...
Tuan ♥
6:32 pm
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Sunday 28 January 2007
peaceful Sunday
i met Lusi for a brief while in the morning... so morning my body wasn't in control... anyway it'd been a week since we last met... i told her everything that happened, since Wednesday... felt good speaking it all out... and felt like a total piece of shit too...
the day's peaceful... i spent the rest of the morning and the entire afternoon in bed... despite the urgent call of Psych... despite the need for some LTB correspondence... despite the pouting tummy... despite the peaceful day...
I'm up... dinner with Eddie awaits...
sometimes i wonder if i could ever be a good boy and study the way i want to (or rather, the way i have to)... it's been too happening... i need to be comfortable with sitting right at my desk and being best friend with the books...
Bring me to life!
Tuan ♥
7:03 pm
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Thursday 25 January 2007
just me
SMU's been hell... loads of project work... loads of homework... loads of stress... i can't believe my wednesday was for LTB meeting instead of FRAB hours... and it was supposed to be my second birthday dinner... man...
that's why i'm glad i joined them all after LTB meeting... Butter Factory was a blast... mind blowing and body grooving music... and kinky cronies who downed my favourite drinks with me... i wasn't human... i was an animal on the floor... and thing is, i like it that way; the humiliating night wilderness.
i'm in dangerous waters... and fucking hell... i like it...
anyway i received a long overdue letter... touching words that mean less than what they should...
let's talk about nice little things in my life... Sarah really is so mysteriously connected to me... like, we were working at Times... hahaha... and all her dates seem to be in my world... somehow... the world's small :) and welcome to my life!
Tuan ♥
11:11 pm
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Tuesday 23 January 2007
the muse-um
language is powerful... words could hypnotise and shape our beliefs... and right could be made wrong... i guess nobody wants to be manipulated... but we all are... it's like the writer's a puppet master brilliantly pulling the invisible strings on us puppets... grammar's static; language lives... and what's alive could be really lethal...
speaking of which, it feels like my English's getting substandard... somehow i don't feel "it" very much... i don't know what "it" is... but i know "it" makes me feel good when it comes to English... "it" is perhaps just feelings... by the way, this is no cause for anyone to joke on my language... mind you!
anyway, had lunch with Michelle today... it'd been sooo long... seems to me that friendship could really be unfathomable... we could so close and so far... and we could always get close yet again... i hope we stay the way we are...
paid a visit to the National Museum of S'pore... the History Gallery's so huge it took us hours to cover just half of it... definitely better than the Arts Museum... about The Mutiny... i love history... and the Singa Merlionus... which i thought existed...
we took our time during dinner... was probably my hugest Magic Wok meal... been eating lots... to make up for my lost charm... last night's fried prawn fusilli at Spagheddies was ethereal to the senses... i love good food...
Tuan ♥
11:26 pm
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Sunday 21 January 2007
contradictions
this is probably the baddest week in the new year... no break, and i felt close to breaking point... i needed sleep, yet had the least hours on bed... i'm usually good in bed, could sleep for like 20 hours straight... but not this week... it was bad, and good... sometimes i don't mind suffering to see how much i could take.
Stage It's "I know who you did last Christmas" was fun =) my girlfriend brought me home for Christmas dinner... then she found out that i'd slept with her mom last christmas... then her mom discovered that i had sex with her husband last christmas too. and i loved my Cognitare group... we had everything, sharp brains and pretty faces...
anyway...
Hillary Clinton's running for the White House in 2008... i'm excited... and i was just as excited reading about Barack Obama, a black senator who's so on the rise he might declare his candidacy too... the first white woman or the first coloured man to be in the Oval Office? well it could be another white man cuz them Democrats can't run against each other.
World Economic Forum in Switzerland... the pro globalisation contingent is to hold talks in deluxe ballrooms in one of the world's richest countries... World Social Forum in Kenya... people are going to oppose globalisation outdoor, in a land where 18 million live on less than 1 US dollar a day...
Tuan ♥
5:35 pm
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Saturday 20 January 2007
private emotions
this is one of those times when i feel that there's more to life than the relentless routine of school and work. this is when i feel that every one of us is just another being conditioned to enter the the rat race that never ends until the day we die. and there's a reason why no one on his deathbed would say, "i wish i'd spent more time in the office."
i guess i've had it all, the extremities of feelings... i've loved, and lost, people who i thought i could never live without... i've heard words that mean forever and always, and i've come to know forever and always don't mean forever and always... people say time heals everything... i'd say, time disperses everything, people, memories...
it's strange how people are away from each other when they live and come together when one dies... it's strange how i don't love those who mean most to me when i'm with them only to realize, when i'm not with them, that i love them... it's strange how i always wanna be with my loved ones, and yet i wanna achieve things that keep me away from them...
i pray every night that everyone's fine... i pray that it'd not be too late to be with my family and my love and my friends... i pray that even though i'm not with them, i'm not without them... i pray that school's fine so that i could meet up with my friends more often... ahhh stupid Lan Anh makes me think too much... shouldn't have chatted with her for 5 hours...
Tuan ♥
9:39 pm
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Wednesday 17 January 2007
Tabula Rasa
it was a very packed day... not even a minute to spare... from am to pm... wasn't the latest night out but at least i'd always had some space in between stuffs to like be narcissistic and dress up... hmm...
seemed like a school timetable wasn't enough for me... i spent an hour before sleep last night planning out a detailed weekly schedule... like when to do what... so that i'd have ample time to prepare for classes... and i realize study on its own would take up 90% of my time... well i'm gonna be a good boy and not miss any other class... at least not because i oversleep... and if i ever happen to oversleep, i'd make sure i arrange for a make-up lecture...
Psych class was good... Tabula Rasa, which means "born bare naked", speaks the scientific belief that all behaviours are learnt... and i think J. B. Watson's social engineering would certainly irk LKY and his eugenics ideal...
anyway, i had like 4 meals today... and snacks in between... constantly felt hungry... then i realized it wasn't hunger... but a malicious tummy ache that wouldn't subside no matter how much i ate... a bit worried... wonder if it's the consequence of my persistent poor dieting habits... hmm...
FRAB hours :) Vil'age was fine... except that i couldn't taste any smoked salmon in my crepes... and we sure had nasty fun together, FRAB and the boy... finger guessing seemed a perennial jinx to Brian and Richard hahaha... i love everyone...
Tuan ♥
11:40 pm
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Monday 15 January 2007
1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12
Lusi made me think about the closest girl friends that i have today. and i thought about it. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7 in S'pore and 8. 9. 10 in Vietnam and 11 in Australia and 12 in the US. hope i didn't miss out any significant one.
1.2.3.4.5.6.7 have come into my life. one by one. doing all the shit for me, as well as to me. they might not always be there. but i believe they're here to stay, right in my heart. i don't often tell them how important they have become to me. wouldn't be a surprise if some people don't even know they're one of the numbers.
8.9.10 are probably the only people who've been in my life since i was still bedwetting and unaware of the existence of underwears. we might not talk for an entire year. we don't give birthday presents. and we do swear at each other. feelings rise and fall, matter of fact. and just as matter-of-factly, we're best buddies.
11 was my old-time crush. who'd become my soulmate after only 4 weeks in school. we've met 5 times since 2001. hope i'm right... 12 was an underappreciated freak who used to follow me everywhere i went and in whatever i did. she's now enjoying the hard life in the US. till we meet again...
1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12. seemingly meaningless arithmetic numbers that bring to my world the experience i could die for. thank you! i really do! and i just realize, there's 13.14.15 as well. i'm still thinking... complicated anomalies...
Tuan ♥
11:29 pm
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Sunday 14 January 2007
nasty weekend
i hate waking up late and rushing onto the jammed roads to the National Stadium on Saturday. missed the Vietnam anthem. felt bad to the guys for making them miss it too. well my first time in a stadium watching soccer. and there was no goal. and i was more interested in my chat with Thinh. though i did occasionally tear out my lungs and throat screaming. anyway, when i told my mom i was catching the game live, she asked, "which team are you supporting?"
i love Geylang... gotta come there more often... it's sizzling hot... i mean, the food and the "ambience"... just that i can't take too much beer... damn... was looking gorgeously pink by the time i got home...
i hate time differences... can't chat with people in the US and the UK often at all... Lan Anh came online at about 5am this morning... somehow i woke up... but chose to continue with my much needed sleep after replying her, "i'm online sleeping."
i love economics and GP tuition... i love economics S paper... i want more economics and GP people...
anyway, felt like a trance... bewildered in sassy thoughts that must be damned...
Tuan ♥
7:23 pm
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Saturday 13 January 2007
Taboo!
perhaps i should just stick to dancing... drama might not be my thing... i don't know... it takes more than just a pretty face and shamelessness to be on stage... and i seem to only have a pretty face and shamelessness...
anyway, every module has project work, except psychology (which doesn't need project work to be any more demanding)... and all my project groups are sort of random... seems like i'm not as smart as i'd like to think i am... kind of failed my first write up exercise for Comm... erm!
the daughter came yesterday... we started off in a Taboo way... then Cathay Arcade for table hockey... was nice enough to let her win everything... One Last Dance the movie seemed like a hybrid of "Collateral and Kungfu Hustle"... it was my first date with a Viet girl (well discounting the TJ time with Lan Anh)...
and it's off my mind, finally... at least i got it started... Shirley was nice (and she's pretty too)... i pray for myself... and FRAB're probably praying for me too... and Lusi... and those who know...
Tuan ♥
4:14 pm
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Wednesday 10 January 2007
Thank you!
I have been good. I have been going to school on time. and i don't have to call my friends to ask where the class is. seems like i'm gonna love Communication Study... there's an anomaly of Microeconomics... it's the only thing that i'm not interested in so far...
received a call from STB and i understood how no news is good news... it's nobody's fault... it's still unfair that i have to take the toll though... i should have listened to Lusi and not moved into SMU hostel... as if i wasn't already in a mess... totally ruined my pretty mood...
that's why i wanna thank FRAB and FRAB's girlfriend so much... for the dinner that cheered me up... for Seah Street Deli was a great place... for the games... for listening to my love life and, of course, for the sassy photos we took =) i love Wednesdays!
anyway, i cleaned up the room today... and did my laundry (it still costs a bomb)... took some real effort to finally see my table top and walk the clean floor :) oh thank you Sherly, for Friends :)
Tuan ♥
11:04 pm
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Monday 8 January 2007
if today's the first day of the rest of my life...
first Leadership and Team Building (LTB) class... seems like the meaning of the word "leader" is severely depressed... the way it is in class, Oxford dictionary should have the addition of "superleader" to credit people like Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela... well i hope i like the class anyhow.
just had dinner with Jing Ting... like all our other meetings, we talked about relationships and love... and sex and petting, this time... she made me miss Xin Yi so much... anyway, though she was an hour late, i was thankful that she came all the way from NTU... she liked the food at Song Trang... yayness!
"hey... i really like talking to u, cos u never fail to enable me to know more about stuff n sometimes even myself. i know ur not going thru an easy time now, but just wanna encourage u to do the right thing, though it won't be easy. but u've matured a lot. so i'm sure u know what to do. take care."
if today's the first day of the rest of my life, i'm in real trouble... and Michelle's sick... Eddie's sick... and me too... hmm...
Tuan ♥
11:00 pm
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Sunday 7 January 2007
my first 20th birthday dinner
we met at about 6 plus... it was a busy day and i was a few minutes late, and Lusi was all waiting. still too early for dinner so we window shopped at Raffles City and commented on the funny things we saw (like the naked mannequin with the bulge).
Lusi picked the restaurant this time. Sun Japanese Dining at CHIJMES was beyond my prettiest and poshest expectations for the dinner; the service was fine... the ambience felt exquisite to the soul... and the food once again epitomised the uncompromised quality of japanese smack and appetizing delivery...
Lusi had salmon kamaneshi, and me kani and karasumi kamaneshi, some snow crab stuff which felt like prawns at first... we had uji macha mini parfait for dessert... green tea and sweet bean stuffs... in all, a microcosmic extravaganza of taste :)
oh just a little sidetrack, there was this waitress who happened to have just graduated from TJ and she recognized me there. we had quite a chat just before we took our leave.
the ambience was so fine we decided to have a drink before leaving... i had most of the jim beam and vodka stolich cuz Lusi didn't drink much... Capella closed pretty early... and i was looking pink again.
i was happy. thank you Lusi!
Tuan ♥
11:49 pm
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Friday 5 January 2007
first school week
just came back from the first meeting for Stage It 2007 production... seems like the cast's gonna be real huge... and you know what Angeline, the director said the script's gonna be adapted to the context of Ipoh =) how coincidental!
Lusi's taking some course on counseling... and i'm like her test subject, as she says she's supposed to help someone achieve one particular goal... and mine's to get a GPA of 4.0 this semester. she's gonna fail =)
Research Methods for Social Sciences and Introduction to Psychology are pretty cool... social enough not to bore me, and science enough to keep me human. just a matter, statistics is back, though this time an elusive force just tangible enough for me to feel the heat.
i realize i need an alarm clock, a finance manager and a study enforcer. any volunteer?
Tuan ♥
9:25 pm
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Thursday 4 January 2007
Horoscope
Don't fret about the recent downturn in your social and/or love life -- it is actually a blessing in disguise. Now you've finally got the time your subconscious truly needs to take stock of what has been going on in your life. There's been more bubbling under the surface than you realize, and you have got to mull a few things over. This quieter time will help coax those deeper thoughts off your mental back burner and up front where they belong right now.
Tuan ♥
2:07 am
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Wednesday 3 January 2007
New Year Bustles
Dec 30 2006
NTU food's amazing... cheap and delicious, the claypots =) i wanna go there more often... ah i missed bridge... nobody was around to make the foursome affair... i felt soothing peace on the comfy bed letting my mind laugh along Full Metal Panic =)
Dec 31 2006
New Year's Eve... had the favourite sea food platter at Fish & Co (the service was simply fantastic) before joining the gang at Clementi (my sincere apology for turning up sooo late)... it was fun having good food and drinks and good company counting down the last moments of 2006 =) we spanked poker cards ALL night long... gossips were in the air too :)
i wished i could be in Vietnam and the UK at the local midnights!
Jan 1 2007
an early breakfast cum lunch at Telok Blangah after the blank night, before every one hit the bed... i had my mistress's place, yay! pork ribs and beef for dinner... yummilicious! if only i could cook... i kind of like the horny family :)
another blank night with poker cards and chinese chess and the action packed counter strike. yayness =) i had the "beer" maid's bed after going to the wet market... the scent made me feel close to Vietnam! ah...
Jan 2 2007
so sorry Hafiz and gang for not joining you... anyway, everyone loved the overly densed chicken soup for lunch =) and i did the dishes... Trang and Hanh and Thu and Vinh sent me and Hung and Tran to the taxi. such hospitable sweetness!
rushed home to touch up before going to Song Trang for dinner... the special banana mixed bailey's felt chill to the lips... and i love Blood Diamond at Cathay... thanks to Thu that i had my money well spent on a good movie for the new year's start up =)
Jan 3 2007
it was 2am... i couldn't sleep... it was 3am... i was counting sheep... it was 4am... i started watching Friends... it was 5am... i cried myself to sleep...
it was 7:30am... i had to be up for school... but i didn't... it was 12:30pm, when i next knew it... missed the first class of the year... missed lunch with FRAB...
dinner with FRAB awaits! for now, laundry time...
by the way, Lusi's back. and Michelle's back =)
Tuan ♥
4:08 pm
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