The Archivist

Wednesday 28 February 2007
rendezvous

NTU school of the arts is so cool. particularly the helical building embracing basement-to-rooftop grass exterior. like i could imagine all the night winding and grinding actions there. anyway it's so not easy to visually express emotions, especially when you are not supposed to be yourself.

and yet another random feat of Butter Factory. wasn't exactly the kind that sizzles and makes me wanna drop it bad. but it was hot anyhow. yup the girls were hot. a tinge of intoxicated indulgence that made me momentarily high, and stink.

some things make me think, why pretty girls are slutty just the right way and why boys turn jerks just as girls let them... girls don't like boys girls like cars and money. and girls with the bodies are like boys with Ferraris. ah Tuan wanna believe in a beautiful world that loves.

SMU news: a B for the second communication assignment. i'm so not gonna do well for this module. 50/100 for microeconomics midterm paper. a toast to me on the bright side of life, as i only attempted 50/100 marks. LTB isn't going well. and RMSS's been a static monument.

gonna take a nap now. and it must be a good one cuz i need it bad. well there's LTB meeting in the evening. at the expense of FRAB hours. that totally sucks.

11th hour update: was such a good nap i woke up late and joined the meeting an hour later. i must never club again. and hey i borrowed like 2 umbrellas today. fascinating ones.

Tuan ♥ 4:38 pm link to post 0 comments

Saturday 24 February 2007
Now

i met Shirley at Tourism Court again... as caring and concerned as she could be... well either that or the work at STB has rubbed on her the generic hospitality that sells... oh well... either way, i feel guilty... so i have one month to make or break me.

and finally, Janice... the only close pal i hadn't met since my return from Ho Chi Minh, until tonight... the night was really levis' slim cut kind of tight; we only had like 25 minutes. she seemed sad though... ah i don't like that...

random meeting with Sarah... there was the loud and colourful and sensational Chingay Parade... wanted to get this green striped Pull and Bear T that "shows your arms, and makes your chest nice" (erm)... then chilling hours at The Balcony with Yong and Felix. pretty cool.

Tuan needs to do it. somehow. he has this 8 year self contract to look forward to. and he has a dream. which used to be desired reality. with a special someone. a dream that binds. Now.

Tuan ♥ 1:59 am link to post 0 comments

Thursday 22 February 2007
another Oscar flick

Chelle and me had our first date after what felt like months. yeah it was months; we last went out proper on National Day. to think we're both in SMU... anyway, i liked the way Chelle made me feel that i'm a much more fun person to be with than the mikish guy =)

we had a good lunch at Ichiban-sushi... the kind of food that makes my taste buds orgasmically high... weird that the pics of us don't look too good... the ambience was fine, and i didn't look that bad... maybe cuz of Chelle... yup i decide that she should look the way she did in TJ.

Letters from Iwo Jiwa... it's the kind of wartime intricacy of blinding despair and shattered hope... i like the way cowardice and courage, wisdom and insanity, and patriotism and treachery intertwine within a person... i like the way the directorship managed a microcosmic localisation of World War II into the barren island of Iwo Jiwa. reminds me of the excellent Downfall. Yet again the American enterprise triumphs over Japanese furious discipline and hardcore nationalism.

Tuan decides that he loves war epics! and ooh, the Yasukuni Shrine had a line in the movie. i once spoke against my LTB professor, who thought Mr Koizumi shouldn't have honoured the war dead at the controversial place...

and i realize studying overseas does deprive people of red hot opportunities. like the JAL scholarship that sends scholars to Japan for a 3 week exchange program.

Tuan ♥ 11:47 pm link to post 0 comments

Wednesday 21 February 2007
casual musings

Babel's Rinko Kikuchi commented on her nude scene in the movie, "Chieko had no other way of communication, and I felt her despair." the kind of perfect characterisation that makes her Japan's first Oscar nominee in 49 years! ah i wanna catch Babelic shows...

and i chanced upon this forum that discusses the world's economic order... fervent optimism on China's rise to become the largest economy by 2020... remember remember, the US was overwhelmed on how Germany and Japan would be the world's new economic powerhouse 15 years ago... America's not gonna fall any time soon.

“Why do you think some religions have regarded sex as sacred while others have regarded it as a sin?”, posted by Sally Quinn and Jon Meacham. hmm this sounds a bit manipulative to me... cuz even to one single religion sex could be both sacred and sinful, under differing circumstances...

to end it off, where in the world would toilet paper be more worth than bank notes? ladies and gentlemen, we're in a Zimbabwe that boasts a stratospheric 1600% inflation.

Tuan ♥ 4:42 pm link to post 0 comments

Tuesday 20 February 2007
away from home

it's three days into the new year... been funked up in old school late night bashing that burns deep into my sleep and wallet... well always wanna call home... wanna hear that voice of my sister, and know that Mom's fine... just that!

anyway i called a minute ago... Mom worked today, and i thought she wouldn't be home by midnight... apparently she'd been back since 8... i felt happy, as Mom sounded genuinely happy to hear my voice...

if only i could hang up right then... cuz i know as we talk on, i would be so guilt ridden i might just close my eyes and imagine myself in a far away land where i am understood... Mom said the same things that i once loved to hear... but cruelty seemed to creep in between the lines...

disclaimer: Mom loves me. the hurt isn't her intention... just that i've been this fucked up son who's been committing legally unwritten crimes against myself... and for that i gotta be strong and undo what's done...

In for a change, I am!

Tuan ♥ 1:16 am link to post 0 comments

Sunday 18 February 2007
untraditionality

we had a late dinner at this Hong Kong Cafe... was so hungry the bee hoon felt good for the first time... and it seemed like there were more servers than customers... yeah that'd make sense... who'd wanna be out last night when the best thing there could be was to be home? well... don't answer that!

we rolled and posed and cosed up at Clark Quay (yup, i was back in 24 hours)... and hit MOS... what to do when we wanted a seat, and MOS offered free entries before midnight... well the "seat" turned into the "beat" that spinned us round round... guys to girls ratio was like 10 to 1... i didn't mind though. it was budget clubbing so yeah, one Gin couldn't keep us going for long...

and so there were cute Japanese fashioned school boys that made Sherly high and feel paedophilic... there was a sexy young thing who kept the phone in between the cleavage... there were Malays and Indians; surprisingly the Chinese still outnumbered them all. probably homeless kids...

Tuan wanna be home for the New Year...

Tuan ♥ 12:38 pm link to post 0 comments

Saturday 17 February 2007
a friendly Valentine's

i love my Friday night... had my virgin dinner at the Soup Spoon with Lusi... my tokyo chicken stew was so yummilicious i just loved it... and being the nice person i am, Lusi had a taste of it too... apparently her whatever soup was a disappointment... ooh and i loved my beef wasabi sandwich too.

we spent the next hours walking from City Hall to Parliament House to Clark Quay... across the S'pore River, where Q Bar aroused some personal feelings... ah ooh, the Cannery has this huge encompassing colour flashing thing that we called the Big Umbrella... simply mesmerizing especially when it flared up in purple.

and after shunning many hot spots (the Clinic was a turnoff to Lusi, and Fashion Bar was a tad too cacophonous for a chat, bla bla bla) we made a random turn to a cosy Asylum... ah it was THE time of THE night... i'd been waiting for the whole week for this, to not think about nothing and just enjoy with THE friend...

we were shameless camwhores who posed with retail Esprit shades... we both felt tipsy having sex on the beach and the signature S'pore Sling... i had the night of pure enjoyment despite a very bad start to the day, and Lusi had the best Valentine's present... i simply love the S'pore nightlife... wild and tamed... varied and constant...

it was New Year's Eve in Vietnam... and i had no idea... managed to make a quick call home (thanks to Thao's courtesy)... ah i miss my sister... she wished me cute little things, like i could look better... and the night took a random turn and i ended up at Mustafa Centre with the Viet group at SMU Residences... nice little beings with about to be adulterous minds...

Tuan ♥ 11:11 am link to post 0 comments

Thursday 15 February 2007
Renaissance

I'm a survivor!

gone: long nights of endless worries on midterm papers and graded presentations and overloads of concurrent class readings and what not... and i'm unscathed, yup! well except for a few bruises: the looks are getting bad, and the hair's horrid.

I'm not a victor though...

ah i don't care... finally, i could shout out loud Renaissance once again... been two years since the word last meant heart and soul to me... tonight shall mark the Renaissance of my attitude, my mind, my body and my self... expect to be wowed! Renaissance!

somewhere... someone's listening to Oasis's Stand By Me... not my pick for the night though... i choose to celebrate My Love with Timberlake... Sleaze on boy!

Tuan ♥ 11:35 pm link to post 0 comments

Wednesday 14 February 2007
Feb 14, 2007

me and Sarah finally had our long overdue meeting... i had a haircut before lunch... she didn't laugh, though i looked totally funny (screw you cheena hairstylist)... i still love myself though =) anyway the Crystal Jade lunch was good... we caught up on our lives, detailedly and scrutinizingly, as usual...

and me and Lusi didn't have to meet for 5 minutes =) her class ended early so yeah, we had a bit more time for dinner... not much though... anyway, Pho Lan's menu was a bit pathetic... luckily the ambience was soothing (in lounge vietnam music + handicrafts + oil paintings + embroidery of sort).

yeah not too bad a day... though i'm still unhappy not Zouking tonight... but what to do, after 3 presentations and a midterm paper, i still have one more to get rid of tomorrow evening... and STB wanna see me again... shit... i'm feeling bad bad vibes about this... alright so what if i can't get 3.8... there's more to my life, yup!

Tuan ♥ 9:58 pm link to post 0 comments

Sunday 11 February 2007
Babel

i know why Babel the movie is Babel... finally... the biblical story of the Tower of Babel, and the origin of languages... yup, that explains the romance behind the seemingly separate depictions of life in the show...

if the week's desirability is rated on the number of hours i spend at home and the number of meals i have by myself, and the higher of those the lower the desirability, this week's certainly the least desirable... but then, as Youngbloodz' Imma Shine beats out, who cares? i'm gonna get it and...

i realize almost everyone i know is feeling depressed and lonely... primary suspect: study! well there're times when i get too stressed out, and it's dangerous coming near trying to calm the irritable me down... right Sarah? thanks Eddie, for coming to me! (though you probably had nothing better to do)... and Chelle, the bitter Dars chocolate tastes just right...

and it's sad when you miss someone terribly and you can't let the person know.

Tuan ♥ 10:50 pm link to post 0 comments

Saturday 10 February 2007
Kryptonite

Michelle came to visit the sick boyfriend today... she's such a sweet girlfriend (disclaimer: she's toxic too), getting the boy to eat and take his medicines (i wish somebody thought of this when i was sick) and getting him to bed too... hahaha...

and she was unusually nice to me too... got me a yummilicious piece of chocolate cake and a chocolate bar... though i felt sad at first cuz seemed like she forgot i don't like chocolate =) ooh i could promote Michelle to be my personal photographer. Here's why:

yup that's me in the home tee (it's my first ex's present) that seemed sloppy on me, yet looking gorgeous... the shades were Chelle's... she could be my wardrobe consultant too... though i don't like most of her stuffs hahaha...

i've been good... studying the day away... i feel more motivated to study... and i think i'm still smart... hopefully i could have faith in myself once again, and soon... and ooh, i wanna innocently shake that ass...

mindrocking on Kryptonite!

Tuan ♥ 9:29 pm link to post 0 comments

Friday 9 February 2007
strings attached

so we went down to Rainbow Centre... special schools that cater to autisic and Down Syndrome kids... there were malay and chinese kids who looked healthy cycling and saying hi and bye... there were special kids, frail and thin and soul-less (it kind of hurts having to use this word on them).

and the world seems to joke with me... passed by Balestier Special School (BSS) the other day... and i thought, how many of these there are... and how many kids there are in each of them... and LTB might be good cuz without this module we wouldn't have done our parts. anyway turned out that BSS's under Rainbow Centre... so we're helping it too... wow...

no sucker for grades but yeah, sometimes grade works... like LTB grade that makes the selfish us selfless, for 3.5 months... or like participation grade that forces people to speak up... it works cuz over time they would be more confident voicing their thoughts...

and i'm attached... to RMSS and Microeconomics... gruesome week... Beyonce gotta Ring The Alarm... yuppers!!! [copyrighted by -rah-]

Tuan ♥ 9:46 pm link to post 0 comments

Thursday 8 February 2007
limerick

once upon a time there lives a boy

hyped up in life's incessant noise

and dreamy in wonderland

where his love shines.b

but yet awaken from falling poise...

Anh Tuan

first limerick of the year... just feel like having deep artistic thoughts on the self... well it's a Thursday night, and i said no to so many temptations which usually invoke an easy yes from the boom boom me... ah i feel motivated to study... i hope i feel like this always... like a silly boy having a crush on his primary school classmate... chaste and innocent...

argh Anh Tuan's dead tired... worse than sick... don't even feel like going to the restroom for a pee though the bladders are reaching their maximum... yet another tight week and it's getting harder and harder to breathe... missed Stage It... and probably would miss it again next week for a midterm paper...

blasting Chamillionaire's Peepin' Me!

Tuan ♥ 10:11 pm link to post 0 comments

Wednesday 7 February 2007
unwritten

TJC language fair... particularly drawn to the last two skits, on Elitism and Academic and Social Pressures... the kids acted well (shame on me)... and they speak good too... and yeah, the world's really full of elitist filth who live on by feeding the rotting facades... but i dont mind... they make a world a fun place.

Gaya and me talked... finally... had the typical inevitable exchanges with dear Rajesh and Kwan and Norsheha... then we strutted our stuffs (mostly hers) across the sports complex... ah nostalgia in the both of us; our glam TJ days...

seems like people are not as rotten as i think... there's still plenty of morality and dignity in the world... reality check! Anh Tuan's a good boy who sins. and he refuses to be consumed in finger licking good lust.

well except when the temptation's totally hot. yup absolutism is never true anyway. exceptions are a mantra... save for the case of deaths and love...

anyway, i've recovered from the mindfucking emo nemo state of mind of last night... the world doesn't turn against me... it's me who turn against the world... sorry Mom! if only you knew your pretty son cried loud and clear in the silent night.

Tuan ♥ 10:44 pm link to post 0 comments

Tuesday 6 February 2007
soapbox

thinking about home... somehow it's not as sweet... same place, same people, but different emotions... little support and understanding... plenty of expectations and imposed values... seems like they are here only when i succeed... if i fail, it's gonna be hell... and the thought of the family against me during shower just now kind of numbed my senses...

and school... biggest challenge is time management... not any of the five modules i'm taking... not money... nothing but time management... i think it's just me who can't get things done... Sherly said she could slack the week off and study over the weekend and still get things done... here i am, trying to work day and night and little is done...

and life... one minute it's the brightest day of the year and the other i'm all depressed thinking satanic thoughts and contemplating self destruction... and i can't stop... well there are nice little things, like the Stage It photo shoot just now, that made me feel a bit helpful to life... but there are mindfucking itches that haunt me at night. argh!

Anh Tuan's this good boy who sins!

Tuan ♥ 11:40 pm link to post 0 comments

Sunday 4 February 2007
Tuan & Co

been fucked with this bad bad cough for a week. a week, and to think that i was hardly sick at all through the 5 years here. it's so bad that my body hurts and my head aches and my neck pains and my throat burns. and to think the pretty doctor said everything was fine, and i've been taking medicines for 4 days.

anyway the past week was a typical SMU & Tuan week; unending meetings that overlapped, overload of due assignments and, of course, Tuan & Co having fun. maybe the only unusual thing was the psychology mid term paper, which i seriously studied for (not synonymous with efficiency though).

and it was certainly a quirky week with bizarre stuffs... like how i had to drop my pants 3 times in less than a half hour, and drop it like it's hot. well long story... or how i was puzzled not knowing why there was such an exodus of Indians right in Orchard, until i realized it was Thaipusam.

and i met up with my vietnam high school pals (who i'd known for barely a month). somebody could seriously talk more than me. and somehow i felt mature being with them. and oh we did amazing things, like supper in Chinatown. and we caught Babel late into the night (or early in the morning).

Babel is a must watch. a labyrynth of life. a reality of surface animals and human at heart. a love that loves right at life and death moments. a simple life that turned a little too complicated, and tragic. a happy struggle that didn't have a happy ending. and yeah, the stupid cough that jerked my body every second of the show. fuck it!

Tuan ♥ 1:23 pm link to post 0 comments

Thursday 1 February 2007
my second birthday dinner

it was amazing... like the other birthday dinners we've had... Hog's Breath Cafe steaks should be a must try... Jamaican chicken wasn't as exotic to the taste buds as the name suggested though... well i wasn't particularly happy with the service though... felt neglected at times... hmm...

and it was our first exclusive meeting after 4 eventful weeks... everyone had something to say... caring and loving, shocking and irritating, and what not... sometimes i just wanna stay quiet and listen to them and feel the affection we share with each other... man, this is unusually mushy...

and the presents that made me smile... 2 T shirts... a pair of toe socks... and the sexiest of TopMan boxers... had a look at my wardrobe and decided that i should invest in green stuffs... coming to like the colour... just a jinx that the camera battery went flat after a few shots... damn, CHIJMES was the perfect camwhore spot...

good food... good stories... and above all, incomparable company... i was with the people who mean most to me here... thank you k... for spending the night with me after such a long and tiring day :) by the way, it was full moon...

Tuan ♥ 8:42 pm link to post 0 comments