on this date 17 years ago, my sister came into our life. i was 4, and i vaguely remember at the moment me and my dad on a wooden bench, and then my dad stood up and walked into that room and i followed briskly after him. and when my dad was all into my mom, i took careful teps onto the bed, towards that little thing... but i didn't manage to carry the thing; what a pity, but my mom was firm i'd better not attempt anything funny.

i can't remember how it all really started. in psychology, it's said that we can't quite recall events that happen before the age of 3 to 4 so yeah, that's how i'd like to remember the first moments of our little thing. but there are moments to remember through the 17 years that little thing's been with us; say, me and her used to love playing on the escalator at An Dong Market eons ago, or this one time when i accidentally pushed her off the stairs and my dad gave me a real bad blast, or the time i was late picking her up after her primary one class and she got lost and my mom was real mad. things like that, cute and kind.

after 17 years, that little thing's still very little. physically and psychologically. i've always thought it's been unfair to her. as if i've always had the good stuff and she has to make do with the left-overs. see, i used to get to go on field trips to places and she didn't. i've always had more friends than her. and i've always been this smart and popular and good-looking big brother of hers. i'd be the talk of the town, both good and bad, but not her. when i've grown up since a young age, she's still very little, innocent of what life is about. my little sister's not academically inclined, not outgoing, not pretty, not fit.

but you're beautiful, that's for sure. for i never thought you'd fight for me when i was simply casually bullied in a game. for all the thoughts you've had for me and our mom, unsaid and precious. for the sacrifices you've made. for you love me, and for i love you too. you know something, you might not be a top student, a scholar, or a gifted person. that doesn't matter to me. in fact, scholarship and the academics don't impress your brother baby. it's your values, and the value of you. and i'll be here for you all the way, and make sure that my little thing's not ever bullied in this cruel world of comparative advantage and natural selection.

how i love 17. and how i love my sister!! happy birthday baby. i'd be home soon.

there's semantic distinction between a nation state and a state nation. the basic idea is that a nation state tends toward homogeneity, whereas a state nation could accept, or tolerate, heterogeneity. and so in my democracy class, the professor asked, out of curiosity, about the state of a multi-racial Singapore (maybe because he's South African).

anyway, this clever Malay (do not be surprised) boy said that Singapore's not honest about racial harmony; racism exists, albeit illicit, but the government does not wish to promote honest discussion on this. he made sense. it's a socially embedded subconscious: jokes, beliefs that Chinese are "hard-working" and "intelligent" and Malay "happy-go-lucky" and "lazy".

and a Chinese "government" boy responded that it's about racial tolerance; racism might admittedly exist, but as long as people tolerate racial differences and practices Singapore's good to go. a classic case of community before self!

how come it seems like the Indian people are entirely missed out... oh well, never mind. if you get what i mean.

and yeah, i'm thrilled that, coincidentally, Nobel laureate James Watson went as far as claiming that black people are not as intelligent as white people (and therefore, western social programmes just don't work in Africa). this is seriously politically incorrect. and i kind of like that.

of course, Singapore's not the only place that's not totally honest about it. British intellectuals and policy-advisors slammed his remark bad. and the London's Science Museum cancelled a scheduled talk by Watson. well, very few things are badder taboos than racism exposed. one's same-sex marriage.

affirmative action through the camera lenses of Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty! "But suppose God is black? What if we go to Heaven and we, all our lives, have treated the Negro as an inferior, and God is there, and we look up and He is not white? What then is our response?" - Robert F. Kennedy

update: Dr. Watson has just "unreservedly" apologised for his inferred remark on whites' superior intelligence to blacks on Oct 20, 2007.

yup, i'd love to stand up for Singapore. please stand up! please stand up! well the time-series graph shows how "developed" i think i've become. over the years. and oh, the numerical values are kind of arbitrary; i think it should be from 0 to 20. oh well, lots of ups and downs, hmm. but i guess what's important is not where i am, but where i'm heading.

yup, gimme more of those good feelings baby! i love your islands!