i must look pretty tired now. been up for 15 hours after 2 hours of sleep. Math for econ wasn't too bad. i'm not complaining, though it could have been better. One last paper tomorrow before i'm off to the BGS project again.

i don't feel like studying now. partly cuz AS is simply a thing of logics. partly cuz i'm not feeling alright. i wonder what i've been doing. i'm spending my time on the right things at the wrong time. i'm having fun when i'm supposed to study. and i'm rushing through virgin notes when i should be in bed resting.

i indulge in day dreaming, on lovely things that don't matter, cuz they're not really gonna come true. i love myself, and i don't love myself. hey You, i'm talking to You!

the only consolation of the day: mangos (courtesy from Indonesia).

there's this blog post (not blog) that's been making news all over Yahoo! 360. the blogger talked about her unpleasant experience in Hanoi in an unplesant manner that has attracted all the wrong kinds of outrageous attention.

don't be too curious. the blog entry is in Vietnamese. and the writer's a Saigoner, who calls herself a Saigonese. The difference? seems to me that Saigoner refers to people per se, and Saigonese is like an adjective.

thing is, even the sinful "Fucking Ha Loi" title doesn't deserve the unfair "celebration" of boorish linguistic obscenity (i shall not further elaborate. a bit off-colour for the decent me). people hurl the worst of vulgarities to the best of their ability.

Disclaimer: "Ha Loi" is a jeer at the Northern pronunciation of Hanoi, as N becomes L. not my intention to insult any one. just a quote in verbatim.

anyway, i think this is like a case of reverse psychology. the Saigonese blogger simply related her experience, which might be untrue. but its "intensity" provoked the target people to behave in the exact manner she was implying. simply shows that she might well be right =)

yeah, it's unfair not only because the responses to her entry have so far been out of proportion, but also because it's only an entry, not a blog, not the blogger herself. Human Nature in the limelight! we only consume what we're fed with. most people who commented on the blog post do not even know the girl. neither do they take any time reading on her blog. they were there and commented simply because someone sent them the link. and they were curious.

i think the blogger's a hell of a personality. just a few other blog entries and i realize she's experienced things that even i would wish to. she has deep feelings, sensible humour, and i wouldn't be too surprised if she has much more than that.

that's better than many of the sinful commenters out there, who have never seen beyond the walls of classrooms, whom i'm calling commenters out of desperate courtesy!

okay i gotta get back to my exam revision. done with statistics, which was managable considering the mere 8 hours i spent =) must thank Michelle and Asher and Ray and Sherly and especially Xin Yi. The real killer comes this Wednesday. and the ordeal will be over at 12pm Thursday!

i just reached home. been going to school by noon and getting home by night every day. i wanna just stay home and have lunch and dinner with the people here (though every time we wanna go eat we gotta wait for a good half hour before every single lazy ass gets moving). anyway, i'm kind of glad even though i'm tired at the end of the day, cuz i know there'll always be someone home when i come back.

i wonder what keeps me out for so long. okay the past few days have all been for BGS project. then i would stay in school to either study or chill out. yeah i do study. and i'm so glad i know what's gonna be tested for final papers. and i'm glad it's not as much as i thought =) (like statistics only covers 3 chapters instead of 8 hahaha).

i start to miss the free times every weekend. it's already the end of friday, the second last friday in S'pore before i fly home. from now till then, there's no time at all to catch up with any one. oh yeah, i had lunch with Michelle today. it'd been ages since the last time we met. nice catch-up!

BGS presentation on VoIP vs landlines. We did it. And we did it GOOD =) "outstanding" and "geniuses" simply pleased our senses =) i'm very happy. i don't care if we smoked our way through "grey" areas or our project doesn't have an obvious link to BGS syllabus. i'm just happy we worked as a team =)

to my BGS group: there are times when we could not be more lost. there are even more times when we were stressed. i just wanna say that i'm proud of us all. really hope that we could be friends who say hi when we meet along the concourse next semester =)

we had buffet lunch on japanese food at Paradiz... and we went to Robertson Walk (my first workplace when i came back here after the As)... and we shared many personal stories that kind of bring us closer together... well i didn't manage to share much of mine... was sleeping comfortably in Chamber (it's this bar where we went to)... i didn't know i was sleeping hahaha. probably i was too tired...

i realize, that i'm pretty photogenic (always think of this more of an insult than a compliment though), and that i look pretty good in a suit (thanks lots Asher) =) and i would look so macho were i like 1.5 times bigger hahaha.

it's been tiring... and yesterday i was basically losing my mind to Sherly... so sorry =( i thought it was really hopeless... well it still seems very much like it though hahah... but i think what happens doesn't matter as much as my view of what happens... so what if it's hopeless, as long as i feel upbeat and work fine?

been taking bus 7 home... and the Tourism Court is bright with christmas bell streamers. i smile to myself thinking about how i always dreamt of working with STB in my future =) well i'm confident i could make it through the 4 years at SMU and stay the same and join STB =)

today's been good... despite the immense fatigue and the poor liquor (i still can't drink)... well it could have been better if certain people had wished me luck for the BGS presentation... only Jaa cared to... hmm...

9 hours of sleep in 3 days... seriously, there are new things that i wanna try but this is definitely not one of them... luckily it's study break week; i can afford to stay home and sleep the morning away (like now) to make up to the bed-deprived me... just hope that i would not overdo it; cuz i gotta study for next week's papers.

yesterday... we had a blasting Creative Thinking presentation... exceeded my expectations... Singlish was a hit, and our actors and actresses were the biggest hit =) i dare not post photos here though; might be against people's ethics and taste hahaha... to my CT groupmates (though you don't know my blog): i didn't think i would have such a good time with you =) sometimes i'm glad to be wrong hahaha. we totally rock =)

BGS presentation rehearsal followed up right after lunch... had to keep me going with Cascada's Every Time We Touch (Weizhong says it's Ah Beng lol) and Eminem and Akon's Smack That... we might need to meet tomorrow... i so wanna stay home and study... okay i wanna go to school for lunch first...

F4, or FRAB (Felicia's newest F4 identity) had dinner at Cathay's Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe (i still think the food isn't cool; the service improved this time though). it was fun nevertheless; i mean, company matters more =) we trooped off to TCC for a drink; and i said to the waitor, "my drink's gonna be a bit girlie; could i have mango tea freeze please?" hahaha the gang seemed amused at that...

the music @ TCC was ... soothing ... loving ... embracing the souls ... we talked all about it... there're songs that bring you to a place... there're songs that make you think of a someone... there're songs that make you wanna dance... and there're songs that touch you till you cry... we left when the music stopped... 11:05pm...

surprisingly i could still stay up till 3am last night (or this morning). was excited that the guys managed to install Age of Empires III for me =) and i downloaded the childhood game of Super Mario too =) i brushed through 10 pages of Mathe lecture 1. 10.5 more to go.

oh i have a new tuition assignment... JC2 economics... the parent wanted to talk to me cuz i'm not a local and she was concerned her son might not understand my english... anyway, hope i do good here... i love JC economics, the kind of brainless yet logical deductions and interpretations and predictions...

yesterday... Vietnam's Teachers' Day... i emailed Ms My and Ms Doan Anh... they're the ones who helped me the most as i was leaving for Singapore 5 years ago... there're many more that i wanna thank, like my primary school form teachers, my english tuition teacher... but i don't know their mails =(

Vietnam's APEC 2006... there's this blog that's been going round and round about how messed up, unacceptable, unethical, unhygenic APEC logistics were... just that nobody seems to think for the people at the top who spent endless hours preparing for this... nobody seems to give any credits to whatever success of APEC logistics... just a two cent worth, if things were difficult for people on the ground, it could be just as difficult, or even more, for people at the top... sometimes even beyond their control and against their will...

it's cool people are talking about it... so people like me know the other side of the coin... but it's also cool not only to criticise ceaselessly but also acknowledge the efforts of the good work, the other side of the coin...

i moved to Clementi today. it was nice of the landlady to give me a lift to the new place, where i'm gonna spend my next half month before flying home. and it was nice of the people here who helped me carry all the stuffs to the flat. or i would have been too tired to rush off to SMU right away.

i kind of miss River Valley, a little bit perhaps. the place's small. and i hardly get to talk to the people there. but i miss how i was right in town. i miss the food place i always went to and ordered huge servings (so often that i think the people know what i want even before i say it). i miss the memories of occasional visits...

ah never mind. i think i'm being too emotional =) oh i spent 4 hours packing everything. realized i'd been keeping things of memories more than of use :) small little things that mean more to me than my huge bags of nice clothes...

it's been busy... meeting project groups in the days and working on my parts for the projects in the nights... and i still go on... i don't know how... like i've been having so little sleep... life could really suck... when there're so few things that interest me and when people i wanna see most are often not around (or not at all)...

i miss home... it's Mom's birthday... gonna call her after i bathe... hope she remembers it's her birthday... she never does the past years... Mom, i wanna bring you out for dinner when i'm home this Dec :) i wanna buy you a nice dress to go for the dinner... and Sister could tag along too. and i wanna bring her out for a good haircut and buy her nice clothes to go with us. i'll look good myself :)

11:44pm ~ just called home (the line didn't connect for like 5 minutes and i was afraid i had to just message her happy birthday). Mom remembers :) turned out that my sister'd set the alarm to remind her of her own birthday hahaha. Mom told me the same old things, that i need to study hard, that i shouldn't go out too often and take care of my health, that i should only spend on what's necessary :) i love her naggings hahaha.

and they're just eagerly waiting for my trip home :)

I like Meet the Parents the movie :) it's funny, nasty and of course, romantic :) and i admire myself for appreciating the little details that make a beautiful show even more beautiful :) about the inner and outer circles of trust, and distrust, among family members :)

and i didn't know that Meet the Forkers was like a sequel to Meet the Parents... the same family settings, and the same funny, nasty and romantic plot that cracked me and my friend up 2 years ago. i miss the time... it was beautiful... i miss how "life just sucks lah" rocked...

man, i love movies :)

just up from a short evening nap after dinner, thanks to a half-hour late wake up call :) i'm gonna read my statistics notes right now... and i'm gonna need another wake up call tomorrow morning :)